Steve Deane: NRL judicial system so bent it can see around corners

Brett Kimmorley wrestles Billy Slater. Photo / Getty Images

It really is a thing of beauty, the NRL's judicial system.

Painstakingly designed to counteract decades of suspicion that the whole process is a rort, the system has so many built-in fail-safe mechanisms it should be used for deep sea oil drilling.

It's brilliant. Except for the fact, of course, that it pretty much always fails. No amount of charge grading, base penalties, prior offence loading, early plea dispensations or seven-year incident-free discounts will ever change that fact that fans still think the system is bent. How could they not, given the run of ridiculous decisions issued in recent weeks?

The acquittal of Jarryd Hayne and Jonathan Thurston has stunk so bad they're probably even detecting a whiff in Rotorua.

Would Isaac Luke have got away with that headbutt - sorry, lovetap as the NSW media now refer to it - on Billy Slater? Every Kiwi knows the answer to that question.

Hayne got away with it because there is an Origin match to be played and his rivalry with the similarly idiotic Billy Slater should be a glorious highlight. From a sporting perspective, few would disagree with the decision to clear the elusive Eel. Roll on Wednesday. It will be great theatre. Might even live up to hype.

But justice is supposed to be blind. The three-man panel that cleared Hayne had their eyes wide open. And, unfortunately, their ears. Panel chairman Paul Conlon, a district court judge, doesn't vote. That is done by selected former players. But Conlon does provide crucial guidance to the panel. His instruction that the panel members must be sure Hayne intended to cause "considerable pain or injury" was basically a direction to acquit.

The panel took eight minutes to follow that instruction. The case was decided on a no-harm no-foul basis.

Since when has that been a rule? Since never, that's when. Previously an accused headbutter merely had to be attempting to cause discomfort.

Conlon shifted the goalposts just for Hayne. Is it any wonder so many NRL stars live their lives as if normal laws don't apply to them? Often, they don't.

The greatest contradiction in the Hayne case was the fact that Slater, who unleashed a flurry of punches in retaliation to the non-headbutt, was found to have no case to answer due to provocation. Hayne's non-butt was deemed serious enough to excuse someone from trying to stove his head in but not serious enough to warrant a one-match ban. Go figure.

The reaction to the decision across the Tasman has been interesting. Last week over 80 per cent of respondents to a Sydney newspaper poll believed Thurston should have been banned for abusing a referee. The backlash against the decision was so severe that Michael Buettner, the panel member who voted in favour of suspending Thurston, got so sick of copping flack he publicised how he had voted - leaving Bradley Clyde and Mal Cochrane to face the music as the dopes who got it wrong.

Despite being equally wrong, the Hayne decision has attracted nowhere near the level of criticism. A slippery headbutt may be okay but the footy field is clearly no place for foul language.

Like those proverbial "bad things", league stupidity seems to also come in threes. Queensland's decision to select Israel Folau is perfectly sensible. Unless of course you believe reports that his likely replacement, once Brent Tate's jaw cracked, Lote Tuqiri, has been blacklisted - for code switching.