Here's an idea. Make coaches wear pink at the press conferences, so people don't take them too seriously. Coaches sit there with grave expressions on their faces, and announce that it is their dire duty to bag the ref for a decision which is destroying the game and just happens to have cost their team a victory that day.
Coaches then add the killer line, which shows how much they love the game. They call for consistency, although secretly their favourite type is a referee who consistently make calls in their favour. Funnily enough, coaches don't believe the other side lost because of a bad call. No, no, no, no, no, even though this is statistically possible, and coaches love statistics. This goes on every week in rugby, league and football.
Coaches attack refs for anything and provide a lead for the players. Queensland's Mal Meninga even claimed once that the State of Origin refs were at fault for his own team selections. Ex-Titans coach John Cartwright reckoned referees were to blame for the way players abused referees. Seriously. And I hold NRL referees' boss Tony Archer responsible for the world's soil degradation problems ... but let's deal with Archer's failure to compost consistently in another column.
Put the phrase "coach blames referee" into an internet search box, take a couple of weeks off and enjoy the tidal wave.
There are proposals the NRL could consider in the face of this onslaught, like allowing refs to use cattle prods, be accompanied by rottweilers, have mafia connections or carry an endorsement by Sonny Bill Williams. But blue jerseys won't work and red ones have even less chance.
3 other things of note
Front forearm guards should be mandatory for cricketers.
Brendon McCullum's arm injury against Australia, which could have been much worse than it was, lends more weight to this argument. Surely professionalism demands that such a vulnerable area be properly protected.
Rene Ranger's early return to New Zealand from France is great news.
He is a unique player, among the most exciting we have seen in many years. But the Northland powerhouse has chosen a couple of dud teams in the Blues and North Harbour. Ranger has family and regional loyalties which influenced his decision. But his potential was never properly realised at the wobbly Blues, and he would have been much better advised to go to a better-organised franchise. Ranger is just what the battling Crusaders need, and he could have done with a dose of their famous structures and attitudes.
Normal transmission resumes at the Blues.
Sir John Kirwan's assistant Grant Doorey will join London Irish next season. Why are there so many comings and goings in the Blues' coaching department? No wonder the results are so disappointing and erratic.
