This year has largely been the best of times for Shaun Kenny-Dowall, but the ecstasy of achievement has certainly been tempered by the pain of defeat.
Recognised as the best in the world in his position this year (the only New Zealander to claim such an honour), the strapping centre was the NRL's top-equal try scorer.
He has also cemented his spot in Stephen Kearney's Kiwis, ending a spell in the international wilderness that stretched back to a lone test against France in 2007.
But while the individual accolades and rewards have flowed, the season has been a case of almost-but-not-quite on the collective front.
Kenny-Dowall's Roosters went from wooden spooners all the way to the grand final, but came up short against the metronome-like Dragons in the title-decider.
Now, after a strong personal campaign in a Kiwis jersey, Kenny-Dowall is staring at the possibility of the same fate with the Kiwis.
Two final defeats in a season would be hard to take, he admits.
"[The grand final defeat] is still hurting in the back of my mind so it would be nice to finish the year on a winning note with the Kiwis," he says.
"It's been an unbelievable year and I'm still trying to come to terms with it. Hopefully we can finish on an even better note.
"If we could finish the year with a win in the Four Nations, it would be the cherry on top."
After last Saturday's struggles in Auckland, such a result would seem unlikely.
Kenny-Dowall is under no illusions as to the size of the task at hand against a reinforced and highly motivated Kangaroos side.
"We're going to have to improve all across the park," he says.
"Defence is a real key for us and we've had a real good couple of days of training. It's been really intense and really physical."
His reference to defence is about more than just stopping the rampant Kangaroos machine running in tries. The Australians laid the platform for last week's victory by beating the Kiwis on the ground and dominating the ruck.
"We've been working really hard on our wrestle," Kenny-Dowall says. "Hopefully we can slow them down [tomorrow night]."
The considerable size advantage of the Australian pack was not the source of the problem, he insisted.
"Definitely not. I think it was just our execution, and being effective in the tackle, that's what we have to work on.
"We have to build pressure and we can't afford to turn the ball over in our own half because we will get punished."
Kenny-Dowall and wingman Jason Nightingale more than held their own against Chris Lawrence and Lote Tuqiri last week. Both Kiwis were defensively sound and also bagged a try in the final 20 minutes.
That late flurry in Auckland has given the side plenty of confidence, Kenny-Dowall says.
"We know what we are capable of. We just need to put it together for 80 minutes."
With just one shot at redemption left and the season over when the final whistle blows tomorrow night, the Kiwis won't be holding anything back.
"It's a great opportunity to beat Australia and this is the one that really counts.
"We can leave nothing in the tank this week. We will be going out there 100 per cent."
WHAT: Four Nations final
WHERE: Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane
WHEN: 10.15pm (NZT) Saturday
TV: Sky Sport 2
League: Kiwis still in with a chance, says Kenny-Dowall
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