KEY POINTS:
There are a few battle scars on Nathan Fien's body and face. There's the scar on his forehead from the deep cut suffered against Manly in 2005 as well as others from surgery on both knees, a cheekbone and dental work after Luke Ricketson knocked some of his teeth out in 2004.
They pale in comparison, however, to the wounds inflicted in the wake of the Grannygate scandal. That episode cut more deeply than any gash to the forehead or scalpel to a knee.
For a couple of weeks during the 2006 Tri Nations, Fien and his grandmother became the central figures in a murky world of claims and attempted cover-ups.
Fien quickly went to ground at the time, attempting to escape the unwanted attention, but the NZRL, led by former chairman Selwyn Bennett, handled the situation appallingly and dug such a deep hole for themselves they were never going to crawl out of it. It effectively cost Bennett his job and the NZRL any redibility they might have possessed.
Those memories are being resurrected with the prospect of Fien's selection for the Kiwis to take on Australia in Sydney on May 9.
This time he qualifies on residency grounds and the 29-year-old, who has been in good form this season, seems the only viable option at hooker because of the injury to young prospect Isaac Luke, indifferent form of David Faiumu and unavailability of Motu Tony due to his commitment to Samoa.
"When I look back it was the best time of my life but also one of my worst," Fien says reflectively.
"I remember how excited I was to be picked for the Kiwis. It was a highlight of my career. I made a commitment that this was what I wanted to do, play for the Kiwis. It was fantastic. But that was just the start of it, really," he says raising an eyebrow and forcing an ironic smile.
As a professional player, Fien was used to being talked about and criticised in the media and public. It comes with the territory.
What he wasn't used to, however, was the level of scrutiny he was exposed to. He was in Queenstown with the rest of the Kiwis preparing for a game against the New Zealand Residents in Westport when it was discovered he wasn't actually eligible to play for New Zealand.
He had been assured by the NZRL he could play but checks showed his New Zealand lineage was to a great-grandmother, not a grandmother.
Fien didn't feel like sticking around and immediately left camp to join his wife and children who were holidaying with family in Cairns.
He was later invited by then Kiwis captain, Ruben Wiki, and coach Brian McClennan, to attend the Tri Nations final but declined saying he didn't want to take the spotlight off what the team had achieved to even make the final.
"It was kind of surreal," he says. "you know, movie star sort of stuff. Me getting off the plane in Sydney and hordes of media waiting. Then another lot waiting at Cairns. You can look back on it now and laugh but it was weird at the time."
Weirdness, though, was not the only emotion. At other times Fien was angry at the attention paid to his family and angry at himself for putting them through it.
On one particular day, an Australian journalist knocked on the door of Fien's grandmother's house and jumped out of the way when she opened so a photographer sitting in a car on the street could take a photograph.
At other times, his siblings, who were still at primary school in Queensland, were getting "curry" from their teachers about their relationship to Fien. Media also camped outside his parents' house for days on end.
"The football and the time I was in camp, I will treasure forever," he says. "For what my family went through, my mum and dad, my nana and my little brother and sister, I'm sorry for putting them through that.
"It went too far. Especially the Australian media. It got my back up. At the end of the day, it's just a game of rugby league. If I knew what my family was going to go through... it could have been different."
Making himself unavailable for future selection, though, was never an option.
"No. That's the type of person I am. I have made my decision and I'm going to stand by it. I don't care what people think. I don't mind what people say about me but when it affects your family, that's a bit raw.
"I'm a proud man and I stand by my decisions. A lot of people called me a traitor for doing what I did but it just feels right for me. If I get the opportunity again to wear the jersey, I will do it very proudly and will do my best to not let anyone down."
There has been speculation he was deliberately overlooked for selection for last year's tests against Australia, Great Britain and France because the NZRL wanted to avoid controversy.
New Kiwis coaches Stephen Kearney and Wayne Bennett aren't likely to worry about that. They have a test to win and a World Cup to prepare for and need the best players available.
Fien knows he will come under the spotlight again. He still gets gentle reminders from opposition players who can't resist a dig at the former Queensland State of Origin player.
Two weeks ago, Fien suggested to Newcastle hooker Danny Buderus as the pair were packing down for a scrum that he was too old to still be playing. The 30-year-old then pointedly queried whether Fien had sorted his passport out.
"I just chucked back that at least I might be having a runaround on May 9 but that Danny would be sitting at home watching the game because Cameron Smith would be playing. It was nothing major. I haven't come across anyone who has really given it to me."
That might come from the likes of serial baiter Willie Mason if Fien is selected for the test match, but he will be able to handle it.
After all, it can't be as bad as what happened first time around.
