KEY POINTS:
It's 8am in Leeds on Monday, November 21, 2005. Brian McClennan has finished breakfast and is about to perform his first task of a week that will end with what he later describes as the greatest moment in New Zealand league history.
He picks up his ringing cellphone and begins talking to a reporter. Yes, agrees McClennan, it is a relief to be in the Tri-Nations final thanks to the Kangaroos' efficient 26-14 defeat of Great Britain in Hull.
Despite his Kiwis having been thrashed 38-12 in Huddersfield by the Lions a week earlier, McClennan insists they deserve to be in the final.
So how is the coach going to turn around a 26-point loss to the British and come up with a victory against a Kangaroos side that has improved with every game in the tournament?
"I watched that game on Saturday night and I was thinking, 'Jeez [the Kangaroos] are so good'," McClennan says. "They have so many good players, so much strike-power, they can hurt you from anywhere."
Honestly, says McClennan, he doesn't really know what he is going to do - but he will come up with something. Thing is, revealing his plans hasn't exactly been a hallmark of McClennan's tenure in charge of the Kiwis. He ends the interview by saying it would be "impossible" for Stacey Jones to take the field in the final.
McClennan has a plan all right, and it's not one he intends to share with anyone beyond the immediate confines of the Kiwis' camp.
Initially, he says his squad will be off-limits to the press during the build-up to the final. He later backs down, wheeling out hard-bitten pros Ruben Wiki, David Kidwell and Paul Rauhihi for a once-only media session in the team's hotel lobby.
Ali Lauiti'iti is also there, but the genial giant could play till he's 150 without ever offering a memorable quote. Getting anything resembling tactical information out of this lot would be as likely as Jones playing every game in the tournament, then not returning for the final.
Later that day, news emerges that Jones' pregnant partner Rachelle is booked in for a caesarean section that will give the halfback plenty of time to witness the birth of his son before catching a flight back to England to play in the final. But, other than that little titbit, McClennan's wall of secrecy remains intact.
Even Shontayne Hape, a personal friend of the writer and usually the most guileless of interviewees, will only confirm that he expects to play in the final. "I'm not really supposed to be talking to you," he says.
Come Saturday night at Elland Rd, the reason for Hape's reticence becomes abundantly clear - usually a centre or wing, Hape is named to play at the back of the scrum in place of the vastly experienced Awen Guttenbeil.
On paper, the move smacks slightly of desperation - a rookie coach shuffling deckchairs on the Titanic. With Nigel Vagana named at stand-off, McClennan has four specialist centres in his side. His selections prove a master-stroke, with Hape, Vagana and Clinton Toopi taking turns at scooting out of dummy half to keep the Kangaroos' pack constantly back-peddling. Time and again the Australians are forced to burn crucial energy making desperate, grasping tackles. The Kiwis are winning the battle for field position and Jones takes full advantage with a cross-kick that yet another centre, Paul Whatuira, pounces on to score the opening try.
BUT it is on the other side of the ball - the defence - where the Kiwis are providing the biggest shock. A defence that was ripped apart by Great Britain two weeks earlier now looks impregnable. The Kangaroos look confused, bewildered and, long before the final whistle, well beaten.
Several hours later, enjoying a beer for the first time in eight weeks - "the longest I've been without a drink since I was a kid" - McClennan at last reveals the secret of his side's success. "We completely changed our defensive system," he says, with a wide grin.
The Kiwis traditionally rely on a rush defence, pouring players into gang tackles in an attempt to intimidate and physically dominate. To counter the tactic, opponents look to offload the ball out the back of a tackle and spread it quickly to the flanks, where the Kiwis will almost certainly be short of numbers.
Knowing precisely this, McClennan has drilled his team relentlessly on switching to a sliding defence. Every time the Kangaroos go wide, the Kiwis are there in numbers. The key to beating a sliding defence is to have runners coming back on the angle and collecting inside passes but, with no Darren Lockyer or Andrew Johns in their line-up, the Kangaroos are unable to make the adjustment.
Their stand-off, Trent Barrett, is a brilliant ball runner but his inability to read a game and his difficulty following instructions is widely known. McClennan's timing could not have been better. Barrett is a peripheral figure as the Kangaroos seldom look like scoring.
Not only is the 24-0 result a major coup for McClennan and his Kiwis, it heralds the end of Kangaroo coach Wayne Bennett's tenure.
Fast forward a year and McClennan, recently anointed as international coach of the year, is playing exactly the same game.
"I came away thinking, 'Geez, they're so dangerous'," he told a reporter shortly after the Kangaroos had once again done his Kiwis a favour by beating Great Britain to book them a spot in the final.
"We're honoured to make the final. We feel like we've earned our way in from what we've done on the field. But they've got such a proud heritage and they rarely lose."
So the Kiwis are no chance then, Bluey? You wouldn't have a clue how to go about beating them? Yeah right!
