Chris Rattue: Crusader empire built on strong pillars

Sonny Bill Williams. Photo / Getty Images

Jack Gibson, the late Aussie club league coach of oft-quoted insights, coined the phrase about the rot being so deep in some clubs' woodwork that a fleet of leaky building recovery specialists armed with Ben 10 superpowers wouldn't have a hope in hell of getting it out. Or something like that.

On the opposite side of the coin, every now and then an outfit appears built on great pillars set in enough concrete to make a conservationist faint and wrapped in a protective coating that George Foreman couldn't punch a hole in. And I'm not talking about Eden Park.

Yes, the mighty Crusaders have been up to their usual tricks.

They come up with the goods in all weathers, any time, any place, under any circumstances. Rare defeats are launching pads for new horizons. They revel in adversity, and in their pomp relish carving opponents to pieces.

The Crusaders have reinvented Christchurch as a major Southern Hemisphere sports city.

No offence intended here, but Christchurch and its outlying areas are a sort of hicksville compared to Sydney, Johannesburg and Auckland, et al. You wouldn't know it though.

The Crusaders have produced the finest players in rugby history, turn good players into terrific players, and do their bit for the rest of the country by exporting their overflow to prop up the also-rans. Coaches and chief executives come and go, now and then, but nothing actually changes rugby-wise, even when the city is smashed by an earthquake.

Almost every new Crusader appears imbued with the spirit, belief and skills of his predecessor. The Crusaders are the finest sporting outfit this country has produced, the greatest club or provincial dynasty in rugby history, and no doubt a source of major frustration to all the other excuse-making professional rugby operations in this country.

The Crusaders had no right to beat the high-flying Stormers yesterday morning, going into the game at Newlands minus Richie McCaw, Dan Carter, Brad Thorn, Sam Whitelock, Ben Franks and Andy Ellis. Their backline was decimated during the match.

Other New Zealand sides would almost certainly have lost this match, even at full strength. The Crusaders relied on makeshift combinations and their reserve forces - and prevailed.

And that in a season in which they are playing without a home ground, and have added to the travel toll by playing in London.

Sonny Bill Williams' offload to create Wyatt Crockett's first try will have cheered up Graham Henry, who might be having nightmares drenched with the sounds of cracking bones and twanging hamstrings. Other World Cup coaches will cringe at the way Williams extends his arm with such ease to release support runners.

The Crusaders had plenty to write home about, which was just as well because there was nothing much going on back here.

The Chiefs, with all their fleet-footed, sidestepping thrill seekers, had the Highlanders on the ropes in the second half in Hamilton.

Yet they kept sitting down on a stool instead of delivering the knockout punch. Stephen Donald threw the funniest long-cut-out-pass-gone-wrong - so funny that he had to almost smile himself. Entertainment-wise it wasn't bad although Waikato Stadium looked short on spectators.

The Blues trundled to another win, against the Hurricanes, but not in style. The Hurricanes botched tries right to the end, and if the judicial system knows what it is doing, replacement halfback Tyson Keats will get a very long suspension for a disgraceful spear tackle which - through his yellow carding - may well have cost the Hurricanes victory. This was an awful game.

A final thought.

The Blues were leading 17-11 with five minutes remaining, and were piling in near the Hurricanes' posts.

A simple drop goal would have given them an unassailable lead. Instead, they chose to spin the ball to a sparse attack on the right, and ended up desperately defending their own line, and would probably have lost the match but for Keats losing the ball over the line.

Even a failed drop goal would have been preferable, allowing the Blues to set their defensive positions.

LACKING THE X-FACTOR

Stephen McIvor must go. McIvor is an awful league TV commentator, and ruined Friday night's test long before Fuifui Moimoi and Co started chucking the ball away.

I feared all along the studio guy would not be up to the job and so it has proved to be.

Sports commentary is a difficult art; but it's not that difficult. McIvor was the curtainraiser caller, and he should have stayed there.

He isn't up with the play, doesn't understand the game, doesn't have a sense of occasion, and generally sounds like he's trying to sound like a league commentator without pulling it off. Not only does he lack the X factor, he lacks the A, B, C factor.

I would rather have heard the Aussie veteran Ray Warren rabbit on with the perceptive and controversial Phil Gould on Friday night. (There are actually a number of excellent, if less well-known, league callers in Australia, although Warren's presence does help raise the sense of occasion).

It's not much fun attacking someone in this way, but McIvor is ruining league. He sounds like a fan who got lucky while we didn't.

Tell us again Sky, or tell us for the first time perhaps: how hard did you look when deciding to replace Jason Costigan, and who exactly did the looking?

We deserve better.

In support, I'll cite an unsolicited email from a former sports international who reckoned: "I don't think I could watch a test like that again - I don't know what was worse, the commentators or the [Kiwis'] inept performance."

Agreed on both counts. Forget all the big picture analysis - league tests are an on-the-day business, all-or-nothing battles, and the Kiwis' ball control let them down badly.

The Kiwis' have a nice and justified confidence and gone are the embarrassing defeats of not too long ago. They are building up a stock of high-class NRL players. But they lost. End of story.

Back to the commentary box.

If I've guessed the public mood wrong here, I'll apologise to McIvor and beg forgiveness. Otherwise, it's time to let Sky know because commentary standards are central to enjoying sport.