KEY POINTS:
As hackneyed routines go, the one where the drunken rugby player gets into trouble with the law for behaving like a goose is easily the most tedious.
It happens every year - same plot, different characters. Jimmy Cowan took the lead role last week, washing up in the
Dunedin Police cells at 6.30am for allegedly behaving in a disorderly manner in the city's Octagon.
Last year, it was Doug Howlett who infamously lost the plot after the World Cup and in 2006 Sione Lauaki had to go to court after being arrested at 5am and charged with assault.
Others have infringed when the demon booze has been inside them. Ma'a Nonu was arrested last year for defying Wellington's liquor ban while Highlanders wing Lucky Mulipola was charged with assault two weeks ago.
The list of offenders is alarmingly long if the incidents are extended beyond those that are purely booze related. Sitiveni Sivivatu was locked up last year after a domestic incident while another recent All Black who had name suppression was in court in 2006 over a domestic incident.
What's so tedious about these incidents is that New Zealand's professional players are given all the support and advice they need to help them manage a night out without getting arrested.
Yes, they face different pressures from their peers. A post-match drink can be fraught with difficulties when drunken revellers all want to chat; to tell the players where they went right and where they went wrong.
But just as the players are trained to cope with life on the field, ample time is spent preparing them to handle situations off the field.
Ann Sikanen, the professional development manager at the Blues, says: "All Super 14 inductees are involved in role-playing exercises. There are cultural awareness sessions and situational sessions.
"We play out scenarios where the players are out and someone wants to have their five cents worth. We teach the players how to extricate themselves from that situation and the players also know that when they have reached their pressure point there are people they can call 24/7 who will come out to get them.
"Our players are well aware of the consequences of drinking too much."
It's not as if the Blues are ploughing a lone furrow. Every other franchise is teaching the same skills.
And that's what makes these continued offences hard to understand. For a start, it has to be asked what any self-respecting professional would be doing out until 6.30am.
Every All Black of the amateur era would immediately question how Cowan's team-mates let him get into so much trouble.
Back in the day, the critical support network was a players' peer group. Members of the great Auckland team of the mid-1980s to early 1990s all looked out for one another. If someone had supped one beer too many, a team-mate would have a quiet word in the ear, or shove the struggling player into a taxi.
That culture of senior players taking responsibility is still very much alive at the Crusaders, which might explain why they have had few problems with players going off the rails.
"That [players looking out for one another] is encouraged here," says former All Black prop Dave Hewett who is now professional development manager for the franchise. "We have four players here who have played more than 100 games for the franchise and that is tremendous in terms of those senior players giving the younger guys people to look up to and learn from. We talk to the players about the history and pride.
"We encourage the players after the game to get a good sleep, to have a meal and maybe an ice bath. It is really important to get that recovery process under way.
"But we can't stand there and make sure everyone is in bed or say they can't go out. The players have to work out what is best for them and take responsibility for the way they manage themselves.
"They spend six days a week in the team environment so it is understandable they might want to go out with friends who are not involved in rugby and have some balance in their lives."
It's the stuff about players having to take responsibility that makes these drunken meltdowns so tedious.
New Zealand rugby feels so vulnerable on and off the field when it comes down to the players having to make decisions.
We have seen the All Blacks go flaky under pressure - making poor choices and basic errors. And we continue to see the same thing happening off the field - away from the support network and faced with having to make a call about what to do, some players, senior men who have been around for long enough to know better, just can't get it right.
While most of the 140 full-time professionals have managed to conduct themselves professionally off the field, the number of incidents requiring police intervention feels worryingly high. "I guess it is disappointing [players who transgress] when you do invest so much time and effort into the players," says Hewett.
