For a story, how can you beat the winning rider, in hospital under anaesthetic 18 hours before they jump the first fence, having a 6mm kidney stone removed through his penis.
There will never be a better story.
The next time you need an example of how tough jumps jockeys are, relate that yarn.
Craig Thornton was happy to relate it in the Ellerslie birdcage on Saturday, minutes after winning the holy grail, the Great Northern Steeplechase, on Amanood Lad. Until then only Amanood Lad's trainer Ben Foote knew of the nail-biting tension of the previous 24 hours.
Thornton has a history of kidney stones created by severe dehydration through wasting to ride light. He had one removed 10 years ago in Philadelphia when riding in the United States.
He was in such excruciating pain on Friday morning he had himself admitted to Waikato Hospital only to learn the horrifying news that the stone was so large it could be removed only by surgery and that was unavailable until after the weekend.
In desperation, Thornton showed medical staff Friday morning's Herald racing liftout, in which he featured on the front page, and asked if they knew how important it was that within 24 hours he was riding the favourite in New Zealand's most famous jumping race.
No response, so Thornton grabbed a phone book and randomly called Hamilton urologist Michael Holmes. The original news was not promising but Holmes called back and said he'd found an anaesthetist and could Thornton be at the Southern Cross Hospital at 7pm.
"Watch me," said Thornton.
Holmes is known as one of medicine's most relaxed characters.
"I was on the operating table and the anaesthetist was going about his business and Michael Holmes said: 'I'm just going home to organise my kids some pizza, back in 30 minutes.'"
It was no more bizarre than the rest of the tale.
Craig Thornton, 48, is resourceful and resilient and one of the world's finest jumps jockeys. He was worried that with the intense hydration Waikato Hospital had administered in attempting to flush the stone free he would be unable to make the weight for Amanood Lad.
So, despite what he'd been through, he insisted on leaving Southern Cross at 8am on Saturday to rush to a sauna. Halfway through the drive to Auckland Holmes called Thornton and said he'd just viewed his blood picture and that he was happy for him to ride in the big race.
You would have wanted to be there if Holmes by that point had tried to stop him.
Thornton made a race riding comeback as a 47-year-old because: "I just love it."
And what he really loves is the Great Northern Steeplechase, which he won 23 years ago on Brother Bart before a long career in the United States. He is thoughtful and quiet by nature, but yesterday he couldn't stop enthusing about the big race and after what he'd been through, who could blame him.
"I've won grade one races at Belmont, Keeneland, Churchill Downs, Saratoga and in Japan and nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to riding over the Ellerslie Hill."
The Great Northern is the only time horses are required to go over the Hill three times and that's what makes it special, says Thornton. No one knew if Amanood Lad would see out the 6400m at his first attempt on Saturday, including Ben Foote and Craig Thornton.
"When you go up that Hill the third time you have no idea what that horse is going to be able to give you after that and that's what makes it exciting."
Amanood Lad was always going to give plenty because of the beautiful ride Thornton had given him. The horse relaxed and Thornton asked an absolute minimum of him in terms of energy until the final 400m.
And what a final 400m. Amanood Lad had been nosed out of the Pakuranga Hunt Cup by Tobouggie Nights and it was Tobouggie Nights and outstanding Australian rider Steve Pateman that were the only chasers in the closing stages.
"It doesn't get better than this," said Thornton, "coming over the last fence in front in the Northern and being chased by the only danger ridden by the best jumps rider the Southern Hemisphere has ever seen."
Although Amanood Lad had jumped beautifully throughout, Tobouggie Nights cleared the last fence the better of the pair and momentarily a repeat of the Pakuranga Hunt Cup looked on.
Although mindful of why it is the case, Thornton believes the $100,000 stake of the Meadow Fresh Great Northern should be more and not simply for financial benefit.
"When I won it in 1991 it was $150,000 and this race deserves to be that type of stake. It's a remarkable race worldwide and the stake should reflect that.
"So many Australians come over here just to see this one race. Craig Durden [former topline Aussie jumps rider] was there yesterday and so were a host of others."
