The Saudis are pumping gazillions into sport and have been roundly criticised for "sportswashing". They are accused of seeking to draw a veil over human rights failings and, in particular, the alleged murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi, dismembered with a bone saw, according to reports, and packed into a suitcase in 2018.
The Liv series has hired Ari Fleischer, George W Bush's White House press secretary and an apologist for the Iraq War and the invisible "weapons of mass destruction". Fleischer is the series' media front man, reportedly involved in some heated clashes with journalists trying to ask the golfers hard questions. Funny old world, ain't it?
The Liv (odd how the name of the tour is just a vowel away from what Khashoggi was prevented from doing) held unintentionally hilarious press conferences where the golfers – normally used to fawning coverage – tried to justify their presence.
"Best for my family"; "growing the game"; "we are not politicians"; "if we tried to cure geopolitical situations in every country in the world we played golf in, we wouldn't play a lot of golf" were among the offerings. Two wouldn't answer a question whether they would play golf for Vladimir Putin if he offered them enough money.
However, the prize for tone-deaf thick-headedness goes to Johnson. He said: "I don't want to play golf the rest of my life, which I felt like I was probably going to have to do".
Poor old Dustin. Imagine having to play pro golf all his life. Oh, the burden. Imagine having career earnings of US$74 million. Yeah, sucks to be the third highest-earning golfer in history behind Tiger Woods and Mickelson. So explain, Dustin, why would you have had to play golf all your life? How much money do you really need?
The golfers' wobbly justifications all come under the heading of 'two wrongs don't make a right'. Yes, sport can't be held responsible for, and to redress, all manner of human rights outrages. Some have tried to excuse the rebel tour by instancing Kerry Packer challenging the cricket status quo in the 1970s – though he was not trying to dilute human rights abuses.
It's not as if the golfers can't meet their thirst for money/what's right for their families on the PGA Tour, without being sock puppets the Saudis wave to show what good blokes they are.
The Tour gave Johnson, and most of his rebel mates, their start and their riches. The winner of the FedEx Cup carries off US$18m these days ($75m in total prize money). The purse for this weekend's Canadian Open, a lesser event on the PGA Tour, is $8m; the winner takes $1.6m.
If you look at the career earnings (golf only) of the rebels, it is eye-opening. Mickelson $94m, Johnson $74m, Garcia $45m (on both the PGA and DP Tours). Garcia has his own private jet, for Pete's sake, once boasting that it is long enough to practise his putting, although the ball sometimes deviates if the plane moves. Pass the sick bag, Sergio.
So why dip snouts in this trough when the old trough still has plenty of honey, not to mention tradition, history, respect and relevance?
The golfers want to have their cake and eat it too. The majors – golf's real measure of greatness – are not controlled by the PGA Tour. Johnson and other rebels can turn up at next weekend's US Open, not only for a big payday but to compete in tournaments which give them a chance of boosting their image.
Did I mention greed? The political and possibly legal battle has already started, with the tour banning the 17 rebels who have switched sides. I hope they are ruled out of the majors and the PGA Tour and, metaphorically at least, are left to roll in the Saudi sand to try to get the oil stains out.