It's a big occasion sullied by big schools with small minds.
At this point in a match preview we would normally be quoting the thoughts of one of the coaches.
Perhaps we might have asked Kelston's Matt Howling what it would mean to win the title via knockout stages, as opposed to earning it through having been round robin leaders when the season was brought to a halt by Covid-19, as was the case last year.
Or inquired as to what they may need to do differently to avoid a repeat of their 23-3 loss to St Peter's on May 21.
We might have asked St Peter's Dave Thomas how his team compares to the school's champion team of 2018. Or maybe his thoughts on whether loosehead prop Sika Pole and halfback Etu Fokufuka can again score critical tries against Kelston, or the prospect of flanker Dylan Petaia turning in another player of the day performance.
Or, more generally it may have been a chance to name-drop a few of the individual players from both teams who have enjoyed stellar seasons. Or contextualise the occasion in terms of the schools' proud history in 1A competition.
For this article, Kelston's director of sport, William Howling, was contacted on the advice of Auckland Rugby's communications manager James Johnston, who did his best to facilitate media access with reluctant schools.
"We won't be making any comment," Howling said. He could not explain why Kelston wouldn't comment. Kelston has a stated school vision of "inspiring growth through wisdom and honour".
Meanwhile the St Peter's camp offered comment for over half the season - before belatedly advising they had been instructed by the principal to desist. No reason was given why.
Nic Slade is director of sport at St Peter's, whose mission statement says: "We work with the community in setting our goals and objectives and in assessing our effectiveness."
Slade was approached for comment via email and phone message. There was no response.
According to the same mission statement, St Peter's adopt Jesus Christ as their model in all they do. At this point, for anyone who ever went to a Catholic school, Proverbs 1:28 may spring to mind.
"Then they will call on me, but I will not answer;
"They will seek me diligently but they will not find me."
So here we are.
Auckland has one of the best first XV competitions around in terms of rugby production. But in terms of understanding how "the product" is presented and consumed, they live in the dark ages. They might as well inhabit the cave of Boreas as New Zealand's biggest metropolis.
In other parts of the country the promotion and publicising of a first XV rugby final is something which is embraced. In Auckland they would rather not answer the phone.
This season this column has presented comment and background information from schools in North Harbour, Hamilton, Rotorua, Wellington, Nelson, Christchurch, and Dunedin.
There has never been anything even approaching the insular resistance that prevails within the Auckland schools. Indeed, the contrast with how helpful they have been in trying to build the symbiotic relationship between sport and media has been striking.
To a certain extent that is a reflection of the civilising influence of sponsored competitions and trophies, where publicity is solicited to do justice to the wider community investment. In central North Island Super 8 rugby they now even broadcast and televise their matches.
By contrast, Auckland's unsponsored 1A stands aloof.
Schools elsewhere tend to be (privately) bemused at the dinosaur Auckland approach. For those with a wider appreciation of rugby history, this strategy is a throwback to the days of Jack Sullivan as New Zealand Rugby Union chairman in the 1970s, where he infamously offered a dead bat "no comment" on everything, recoiling from even the most weighty of issues.
In the long run that proved unhelpful to the game. Similarly, in today's world, the schools' "Hermit Kingdom" approach makes a most awkward fit for Auckland Rugby and its "Building Better Partnerships" tagline.
St Peter's qualified for the final with a 21-16 semifinal win over De La Salle College, while Kelston beat Sacred Heart College 20-16. May the best team win on Saturday.
The Johnnies go marching on
John McGlashan College won the Otago Schools Rugby Championship final, with an action-packed 36-27 victory over Southand Boys' High School at Forsyth Barr Stadium.
It means The Johnnies are still unbeaten in a season where their next challenge is to play off against the winner of Nelson College and St Bede's in the Crusaders' region (a contest delayed because of the flooding in Nelson) for a berth in the national top four.
John McGlashan College is a state-integrated boarding and day school for boys, which with a roll of 500-odd, is at the smaller end of the scale nationally. This is the first time The Johnnies have won the first XV championship under the current format with the likes of Southland included.
The Johnnies trailed 10-17 at halftime, but three tries to speedy winger Stan McClure and two tries to substitute hooker Keegan Ferguson made the difference in a powerful late finish. A slightly less prominent feature of the game was John McGlashan head boy Jack Timu marking Southland head boy Caleb Williams at centre.
Johnnies coach Russell Lundy, who also has a senior Dunedin club title on his CV, has been working with the bulk of his squad since they were in U14 ranks.
"Coaching teenage boys is completely different," Lundy said. "I'm really happy for them. We are not a big team physically, but we compete well and the boys work hard for each other."
Lundy was reluctant to single out players in a season when all have done so brilliantly, but when pushed he sung the praises of loosehead prop Charles Engelbrecht, locks Zackary Cleaver-Donovan and Mitch Morton, as well tireless No 8 Phoenix Abbott.
# The Miles Toyota Championship final between St Bede's and Nelson College has been rescheduled for 11.05am at Sports Park Motueka on Saturday. The winner will host John McGlashan in the South Island final.
# The Moascar Cup – first XV rugby's equivalent of the Ranfurly Shield - has changed hands for the second time in two weeks – and for the third time this season.
After their brilliant effort in winning the cup - and the 2022 Super 8 first XV competition at the expense of Hamilton Boys' High a week earlier - Rotorua Boys' High were beaten 22-11 by Tauranga Boys' College in the Bay of Plenty first XV final for the Chiefs' zone top four qualifiers.
Tauranga, who finished fifth in Super 8 standings, now also hold the Dick Littlejohn Shield as Bay of Plenty champions. Meanwhile Hamilton Boys' High beat St John's College 31-12. St John's were runners-up in the Central North Island first XV competition, having lost the final 33-22 to Feilding High School.
It means Tauranga host Hamilton Boys' High at 12 noon on Saturday in a match which is both a Moascar Cup challenge and a Chiefs Secondary Schools semifinal. Pukekohe High School are away to New Plymouth Boys' High School in the other semi.
# Westlake beat Manurewa 38-24 in an eye-catching final to claim their 13th North Harbour title.
Westlake's defence proved critical in a final between a school which would rather be playing in Auckland's 1A competition and one (Manurewa) which has been invited in from out-of-zone.
Given it was the first North Harbour final for three years, it was also a first for all the players. Westlake captain Tristyn Cook celebrated his 50th first XV match by converting the final try himself, with a natty right-footer.
# St Pat's Silverstream won the Tranzit Coachlines Cup in first XV rugby in Wellington with a 28-14 final win over St Pat's Wellington, with tries to Patrick Solomona, Jacob Denyer, Seyjay Harawira and Oliver Cuff.
It reversed their 19-13 round robin loss to St Pat's Wellington on July 27. Silverstream also won the second XV title and U15 division one honours.