If Australia coach Darren Lehmann (left) didn't have a clue that his senior players were conspiring to cheat then what influence or control did he have on his cricketers? Photo/AP
If Australia coach Darren Lehmann (left) didn't have a clue that his senior players were conspiring to cheat then what influence or control did he have on his cricketers? Photo/AP
Well, it was a toss up between the Joseph Parker v Anthony Joshua world heavyweight boxing bout in Cardiff, Wales, this Sunday or the cheating Australians in the cricket test match in Newlands, South Africa.
The Ockers won hands down even though I'd still like to know how the Parker camp feels about the country of Samoa coming to their rescue in hosting an earlier bout in the Aucklander's career when stakeholders in the country weren't prepared to front up.
No, what Clark Kent (Australia captain Steve Smith) of planet cricket has fessed up to cannot be ignored.
Let's get one thing straight here. It's not just about ball tampering, something that has occurred relatively consistently over decades.
It's something even New Zealand is guilty of at domestic level, if what former international Mark Richardson has alluded to this week, albeit on lashings of opportunism to try to boost the ratings of his TV3 breakfast show. My guess is Richardson won't go as far as squealing on his ex-Black Caps teammates even if it were true.
This is about Australia taking the moral high ground on acceptable norms of behaviour in a "gentleman's game" in one breath while championing the values of the tactics of aggression and sledging in the other.
"That's how we play our best cricket," Smith has reportedly said. "We're aggressive. We're hunting as a pack."
Not surprisingly Smith and his vice-captain, David Warner, have been stood down from the remaining test series. They must realise now how thin the air can be at the peak of the crowded platform where people take the moral high ground.
You see, it's an issue that former internationals, ex-captains and current wives (Candice Warner) and even prime ministers are fast becoming embroiled in, to the extent that the Smith v Kagiso Rabada and Warner v Quinton de Kock rows now appear to be relegated to handbag disputes.
But all of the above are simply red herrings.
The bottom line is every country is guilty of cheating and has cheated. The difference is Australia got caught with Cameron Bancroft's hand down the front of his trousers on TV.
What was he thinking? Was he thinking at all?
Individuals, some high-profile ones, have got caught before but in the Ockers' case it is damningly more incriminating because of the pack mentality that Smith loves alluding to.
While the awkwardly adroit batsman hasn't chucked any names into the equation yet from the so-called "leadership group", reportedly speculation is rife it also involves the likes of Josh Hazlewood, Mitchell Starc and Nathan Lyon.
All sorts of questions surface.
Did Smith turn the premeditated act into a collective one to protect 25-year-old banished Bancroft or did he do it in the belief that if it became a numbers game Cricket Australia would have a more difficult task in singling out more culprits?
Either way Smith has shown he lacks leadership qualities if he, as NSW teammate and ex-international Moises Henriques points out, acted "in 10 minutes of panic" to protect a younger player.
Henriques' misguided sense of loyalty is noted. Let's simply put that down to ineptness in many respects. Was Warner dictating terms and Smith going along?
Aussie coach Darren Lehmann's status of "on the verge of resigning" has eased to one of stay of execution for now but it makes one wonder what, if any, influence or control he has on his players.
If ever anyone wanted a classic example of Lord of the Flies in a sporting context, this is it.
Nobel Prize-winning British author William Golding wrote the novel in 1954 — my favourite literature book in high school. It is about a group of English public schoolboys marooned on an uninhabited island and their calamitous attempt to govern themselves through primitive measures, such as a conch shell that becomes the symbol of supremacy.
I suppose Lehmann comes across as the first casualty following the plane crash as the pilot - early in the script to enable the schoolboys to play out their human frailties before civilisation comes knocking to save the day.
In fact, former Aussie skipper Michael Clarke, in his autobiography, My Story, in 2016, offers myriad snapshots of cliques with the team in "the feud that wasn't", pertaining to Simon Katich and Mike Hussey who hold Clarke to ransom over a team song in the SCG changing room in January 2009.
Perhaps the references to the "catches that weren't" and "Gilly [Adam Gilchrist ] didn't always walk when he was out" are more pertinent to this column.
Cricket Australia CEO James Sutherland vigorously defended captain Steve Smith when he was caught cheating in India about this time last year. Photo/AP
The point is, Cricket Australia had had enough indications that their national team were up to no good — when Smith was caught seeking advice from his camp on whether he should go to DRS when trapped lbw in India about this time last year — but failed to act.
"I find the allegations questioning the integrity of Steve Smith, the Australian team and the dressing room, outrageous," CA chief executive James Sutherland had reacted following assertions from India skipper Virat Kohli that Australia were notorious for such misdemeanours.
"Steve is an outstanding cricketer and person, and role model to many aspiring cricketers and we have every faith that there was no ill-intent in his actions."
I suppose what makes cricket so seductive is its propensity to allow players to skirt the boundaries of morality. You'll find that even at a social competitive level on Saturdays, at parks around Hawke's Bay, teammates will expect you to turn a blind eye to a dismissal if you happen to be presiding as an umpire.
Go against the mob and chances are you'll find yourself having a drink on your own at the club rooms or not given a bat or bowl for a good part of the season, in what is tantamount to bullying within your own team.
Retribution from a teammate umpiring or a fielder deliberately dropping a catch of your bowling also come into play.
Problems will always arise from clauses that enable you to "shine the ball". Spittle is fine but what if you've eaten food laced with sugar crystals?
Sweat from the armpits also seem acceptable but what if the underarm deodorant has properties that change the shape of the ball? Are you guilty or is it just an accident that sweat running down one's face, mingled with sunscreen, mutated the shape of the ball?
Abrasive material for whites that resemble sandpaper qualities, zippers on pockets — where do you draw the line.
Banning practices, such as the polishing of balls and 10-degree of chucking, isn't the answer because it'll only kill the game although such scandals are drawing immense interest to a format many think is dying, if not already dead.
You're talking here about a sport that allowed countries to appoint their own umpires to unashamedly rule in their favour.
The reality is Australia is one of the cornerstones of the code so don't kid yourselves into believing ICC is going to do anything drastic to jeopardise that.
A one-match ban for Smith is laughable so there's fat chance anything serious will be done to round up other culprits.
Just as Rabada got a reprieve so will Smith and Warner.
But Australia need to be seen to be transparent.
No doubt, they have the talent and depth to gradually phase out transgressors to inject some integrity and honesty.
