Norway's men's pursuit team celebrate winning the gold medal race. Photo / AP
Norway has 33 Winter Olympics medals, the most of any country competing. New Zealand has none.
How can this be? We have (almost) the same size population, we have (nearly) the same size country. We have mountains and snow and ski fields just like they do. We're both outdoorsy, sporty kind of people. Both our country names begin with "N".
What are they doing right, and we are doing wrong?
It's not only us agonizing over this. The United States, a country so much bigger than Norway in so many ways only had 16 medals as of writing this morning. Last week, The Washington Post published a story under the headline: "Every four years, they come from Norway to plunder your gold".
Marveling at the achievement of individual Norwegians, The Washington Post wrote: "One Norwegian mother, the pulmonary powerhouse Marit Bjoergen, finds her fifth Olympics in cross-country here, having won a silver at Salt Lake City in 2002, a silver at Turin in 2006, three golds, a silver and a bronze at Vancouver in 2010 and three golds in Sochi in 2014. That made 10, the number she took to her final Olympics with her 37-year-old body that gave birth in 2015 to both a son and, presumably, the attached skis."
The reference to Vikings in the headline had a few incensed. In the comments section, one reader wrote: "Don't be silly man. These are not Vikings who rape and pillage … Norwegians are so preoccupied with fairness and standing up for their beliefs – they put hard work first … ever heard of a Norwegian doping scandal? Of course not."
A Norwegian reader explained one reason for success: "Skiing is a part of our life from when we are born. We have skiing days at school and many students use their ski as transport between home and school."
Still, don't the Finns (four medals to date) and the Swedes (eight medals) have the same lifestyle as two of Norway's closest neighbours?
The British (four medals) are also in awe. The Guardian newspaper listed five reasons the Norwegians are so strong at the Winter Olympics games:
Long, long winters and lots of snow – "from the middle of November until the end of January, then northernmost parts of Norway don't see any sun."
A nation born with skis on – "away from urban centres, even a trip down the road to the shops might involve a bit of cross-country skiing." As an aside, on January 27, the police in the Norwegian town of Kongsberg alerted that they "had to take care of a very inebriated man on skis" in the town centre, whereupon in the police report they criticized his technique: "it was neither classic nor cross country".
A high GDP – "consistently listed as one of the wealthiest nations on the planet … Norway has invested in the infrastructure and the training facilities to back up its Olympic ambition."
Brooding Nordic introspection – at Turin in 2006 Norway fell behind Sweden in the medals table, a moment of national shame. "As a nation, Norway vowed: never again."
A beautiful team experience – "the national skiing team spends about 250 days of the year together; the emphasis on teamwork and a star-free team culture has paid dividends."
We can't beat the Norwegians at the Winter Olympics. And we can't beat them outside the games at popular sports such as football: at our our one match in 1997, Norway won 3-0.
So what can we beat them at?
For the sake of this argument, I'm reduced to the comments section of the Fodor travel website, where "zwho" asked last October: "I would like to ask travelers who've been to both Norway and New Zealand, which place would you suggest I not miss?"