Swimming: Pool full of tears as Tanner withdraws

By SUZANNE McFADDEN

Nikki Tanner gave up her Olympic dream, and today she has nowhere to go.

The talented 20-year-old swimmer should have been in the pool at 5 o'clock this morning, visualising her race against the world's best in Sydney.

But a shattered Tanner is instead trying to imagine a future without the Olympics, after withdrawing from the New Zealand team.

It was the most courageous and heart-wrenching decision of her career. Tanner cried a pool full of tears before pulling out of the Olympics, realising she could not swim her best at the Games.

The 200m backstroker, who finished fourth at the 1998 Commonwealth Games, is at a loss as to what she will do now.

She cannot go back to school - the straight-A commerce student at Auckland University put her studies on hold this year to devote everything to the Olympics.

"The most scary thing is that I have no reason to swim now," she said yesterday. "I've always swum. I've always had the same routine - in the pool at 5 am and again at 5 pm - every day. Now I don't have that any more."

Tanner handed back her ticket to Sydney on Saturday night, when she broke the news to the rest of the Kiwi team at the national winter championships in Dunedin.

By her own admission she had swum badly at the meet, and had failed to equal the time expected of her. She could have fought her case, but bowed out gracefully instead.

"The most important thing for me was to go to Sydney and swim faster than I have ever swum before. It's not about going for a free ride, and just swimming okay.

"Quite often people hide behind the fact that it's the Olympics - they say they didn't swim well because of the pressure.

"But I don't believe in that. I tried really hard, but it didn't work out."

Tanner swam her way into the Olympics a year ago. But when she was named in the team, it was with the proviso that she pass a fitness test before the Games.

Her coach, Mark Bone, said the test was not defined until last month, when she was told she would have to swim faster than her qualifying time.

"It put her under unbearable pressure," said Bone. "Her whole season had been about building up to the Olympics, but there was this monkey always on her back.

"We didn't know whether she should push herself for the Olympics or for the winter nationals.

"We're not making excuses, but we have to make sure this never happens to an athlete again.

"I shared tears with her too. She trained incredibly hard - she was devoted to the Olympics."

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