It was one of the toughest decisions of Nathan Twaddle's career, but in the end it made sense.
The 34-year-old yesterday retired from rowing, having wrestled with the issue since before the world championships at Lake Karapiro in November.
Having won a world title with George Bridgewater as part of the celebrated four golds in 45 minutes in Japan in 2005, and an Olympic bronze three years later in Beijing, plus a host of World Cup honours, Twaddle figured the time is right.
London and the 2012 Olympics were beckoning but Twaddle realised they might be a row too far.
"The more I thought about it, as I started to get back into training again, I started to get the feeling that the result I was looking for possibly wasn't going to eventuate," he said yesterday.
"I didn't want to go to the Olympics - having had the privilege of going twice and being a medallist - just to be there. That would be selfish.
"By stepping out now it gives someone else a chance to step in and take the quad scull up a level and get a medal performance out of it."
Twaddle and his quad had a tough time in Europe last year and finished just outside the world champs A final in November.
He knows he could have hung on and may have got to London, but the motivation would have been wrong.
He's also aware of the determined young crop of rowers coming into a sport whose programmes are getting tougher each year on the back of continued success.
Twaddle got the sense that, with a son, William, almost 18 months old, and other elements in life to consider, it was just getting that much harder.
Still, he has plenty to reflect on with a warm glow of satisfaction.
"Now that it's over, I realise how lucky I was to have all those moments. It's pretty cool, an amazing journey, to have been part of such a cool sport."
You won't find Twaddle barking the orders from a coach boat just yet. He's enjoying morning lie-ins too much just now. But he'll stay in the sport, and admitted doing volunteer support work holds special appeal.
"All the guys who came before me that I looked up to are still involved as club captains or officials or running and governing the sport.
"There's a lot more paid people in sport in general now and that's a great resource, but we need to keep a focus on the value of [volunteers]," he said.
Twaddle joined the elite squad from Rowing New Zealand's development programme in 2003, in a pair with Rob Hellstrom. The sport has moved upwards since then and Twaddle likes the state it's in.
"There's ups and downs, growing pains with a programme which has gone from 2005 when there were 11 athletes, to the worlds this year with 55 athletes, over 20 at under 23 level and a solid junior programme, and a huge amount of support staff," he said.
"There's plenty of young talented athletes coming through, all committed to doing the work required."
STROKE PLAY
* First joined New Zealand elite rowing squad in 2003.
* Won world coxless pair title in Japan in 2005 with George Bridgewater, and the silver medal in each of the next two years.
* Won Olympic bronze medal in the same discipline with Bridgewater in Beijing in 2008.
* Won four World Cup gold medals in the event from 2005-08
Rowing: Twaddle makes way for the youngsters
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