KEY POINTS:
There's only one thing obvious from Jacques Rogge's criticism of Usain Bolt. The International Olympic Committee is slow; as slow as Bolt is, well, lightning fast.
Slow and out of touch. Bolt's antics during and after both the 100m and 200m finals - not to mention two gobsmacking world records, never mind the relay - raised laughter levels and interest around the globe.
Rogge said Bolt should not disrespect his opponents, something the head of the IOC took from Bolt's aeroplane impression, chest-slapping and "who's your daddy?" antics while still finishing the 100m race and still breaking the world record. He also didn't like how Bolt didn't congratulate other athletes while doing his little dance act and gooning "I'm number one" into the TV cameras after the 200m.
Gee, I wonder where Jacques has been the past 30 years or so. Sprinters have been psyching each other out for decades, even before Jacques started his Olympic career as a yachtie in 1968.
Maurice Greene used the pimp roll and some strange tongue-lolling to disquiet his opponents. Carl Lewis used his celebrity to give the impression that, while the other sprinters were on the blocks, the real class had arrived.
Montreal 1976 champion Hasely Crawford used his height and bulk and a rant in the waiting room to unsettle two dangers to his gold medal - Harvey Glance and John Jones of the USA. Crawford later said he knew those two were defeated before they lined up on the track. He could see it in their eyes.
So, wake up, Jacques. "Disrepecting" has been going on forever. And there's another thing. The world is full of athletes who accept victory stoically, seriously and stereotypically. There's room in the world and the world of athletics for a character and some colour. Could even draw people to the sport and, hey, there's a thought - to the Olympics.
What Big Jacques should be turning his mind to is the one thing that people still question about Bolt and the outstanding success of Jamaican sprinters in Beijing. Are they on the juice?
Jamaica has only just instituted a credible drug testing programme - and by "just" I mean last week.
"I am the person who tests in Jamaica, and I tested Bolt 15 times between last November and December," said Herb Elliott, the Jamaican team doctor. "Since he has come here, he has been tested six times. Anybody who wants to cast aspersions on our [drug] programme, I say go to hell."
But, sorry Herb, people do not take seriously teams who have a member of the team delegation doing the testing - they tend to think you have a vested interest. And we know from the Marion Jones affair - 160 negative drugs tests - that athletes taking drugs can avoid detection.
Up until last week, no-one really knew what was happening in Jamaica re drug testing. After three years of talking and jawing, the Jamaican Anti-Doping Commission (Jadco) was still an organisation with more good intentions than testing kits. The IAAF are testing but no-one is sure how effective they are.
Dr Adrian Lorde, the head of the Caribbean drug testing programme which Jamaica stayed out of, has voiced concerns about the amount of testing done on the island.
"I am concerned they don't have the programme in place they should have based on the amount of success they have. I don't have any worries there are athletes in Jamaica who are cheating, but you only know if it's tested."
So there you are, Jacques. Don't waste your time commenting on Bolt's jive. Find out about the juice.
I know it's not your job but neither is a crit on athletes' behaviour. Spend your time finding out if Usain is using, man. If Bolt is a dolt. Or whether he's the greatest thing track and field has ever seen.
Better use of your time, hmmm?
Usain Bolt. Photo / AP
