KEY POINTS:
Only at the Olympics will you see so many people get so excited about losing.
Ecstatic losers are everywhere, silver and bronze medals proudly jangling around their necks.
Go figure.
The Olympics may be a grand sporting carnival but the indecent amount of kudos given to meritorious losers actually bastardises sport.
Whatever happened to winner-take-all and nobody remembers who came second on Monday?
Not that I blame the athletes. If my shoe sponsor promised to pay off my mortgage and fund a decade of loose living in exchange for a bronze, I'd raise my arms to the sky and thank Jesus as I crossed the line too. And I'm an atheist.
It's not the athletes' fault third is considered almost as good as a win. It's the fault of the Olympics itself, with its ridiculously inclusive three-medal system.
Over-celebration of second and third has reached ridiculous levels at these Olympics.
You can't imagine the All Blacks, trailing by eight points with 30 seconds to go in a World Cup final, all diving into the crowd for flags to wave at the final whistle. Actually, you can't imagine the All Blacks in a World Cup final at all, but that's beside the point.
If Moss Burmester had raced more conservatively he might have come home strong and snared a bronze instead of leading Michael Phelps for three glorious lengths before blowing up completely and finishing fourth. But would a bronze medal have meant more than knowing he tried his damnedest to win and almost pulled it off? It damn well shouldn't do.
If it was up to me, second would get a salad bowl and third would get a two-for-one DVD rental voucher.
