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A good week for ...
It's good to see Cristiano Ronaldo hasn't let his busted foot and the kerfuffle about his flirtations with Real Madrid distract him from his true role at Manchester United: Keeping the world's biggest club in the kiss-and-tell pages of the News of the World. Swimwear model Niki Ghazian told the paper that the "rampant Man United star even broke off from their passionate romp several times to put ICE PACKS on his injured ankle". A consummate pro.
It's hard to be too cynical about the Olympics when the cheerfully redemptive power of sport sees Iraq's rowing team granted a late admission to Beijing. The two-man team (Haidar Nozad and Hamzah Hussein Jebur compete in the men's double sculls) will appear because their places had not been given to competitors from other countries. The International Olympic Committee readmitted Iraq to the Olympics on Tuesday, six days after the deadline to enter athletes for the rowing, judo, archery and weightlifting competitions had passed. Common sense has since intervened.
A great week for terrace chants with the news that Russian striker Andrei Arshavin is heading for Spurs. Not since Kizito "Chris" Musampa enjoyed a loan spell at Manchester City has the Premier League been home to a player with a name so begging an obvious wordplay. Cashing in Dynamite week for Uefa, who announced a €250 million ($530 million) net profit off the back of Euro 2008. The money will be used to finance youth and women's competitions, refereeing and coaching programmes, administrative costs and vast lunches for Uefa's legion of bloated bureaucrats.
German fans of Dallas Mavericks basketballer Dirk Nowitzki have mounted an internet campaign calling for him to be named as his nation's flag bearer at Beijing's opening ceremony. "That would be super," Nowitzki said. "I would be honoured." Wise heads reckon Bevan Docherty is a chance to lead the Kiwi squad in.
A great week for honesty as Italian Riccardo Ricco admitted he took the blood-booster EPO before riding in the Tour de France which finished at the weekend. "I came here and I have explained the error I made. I think you all know 13 days ago the position that I was in, I think I have made a good gesture for everyone to have admitted my mistakes," Ricco said. A good gesture indeed, and no doubt his frank admission and desire to come clean had nothing to do with the fact that he failed two tests during the tour.
A bad week for ...
With everyone wondering where Sonny Bill Williams will wash up after walking out on the Bulldogs, his hapless ex-teammates started post-SBW life as they mean to go on: with a 30-0 thrashing at the hands of St George Illawarra.
Kiwi badminton swinger John Moody (world No 75) has drawn tournament fourth-seed Jin Chen of China (world No 4) in the men's singles opening round. Oh dear.
A grim week for Beijing-bound journalists of a liberal bent. Chinese authorities have fiddled with internet access to the main press centre, blocking the website of Amnesty International - and don't even try to look up Falun Gong. A Games spokesman said: "There are some problems with a lot of websites themselves that makes it not easy to view them in China."
The problem possibly being that those websites are perhaps a teensy bit critical of the Chinese government. If those journos had been able to see Amnesty's website they could have read about China's "Re-education Through Labour", a scheme to "clean up" Beijing's image before the Olympics. People detained for up to three years for offences such as vagrancy, begging, peaceful protest and dissent are forced into compulsory labour. Just as Baron de Coubertin envisioned.
The Baron would no doubt be delighted to see Saudi Arabia's team named for the Games, what with sport helping to break down barriers of prejudice and all that. Naturally, there are no women in the Saudi team. Three years ago, the Saudi Ministry of Education rejected proposals to introduce physical education for girls at school.
Nike has taken a kicking as the "That ain't right" ads for Hyperdunk shoes were dubbed homophobic and offensive to African-Americans.