KEY POINTS:
The Olympic sprints in China will be over in their customary flash of whirring limbs but it will be years until it is known where the medals deserve to hang.
For the past few weeks, sport's chemical nightmare has been shaded by the glow of an Olympic torch relay that has reminded the world that the Games can venture into dark places.
Unfortunately for beleaguered Olympic and athletics cheerleaders, one tainted relay has heralded another as newspaper reports again brought to life those alarming images of sprinters with muscle-popping bodies.
As the torch battled in vain to escape ignominy, the 2000 Olympic 100m champion Maurice Greene was being revealed as the latest former star named in a doping investigation while relay teammates of the disgraced Marion Jones have had gold and bronze medals torn from their mantelpieces.
The revealing of Olympic medallists as drug-tainted is becoming such a regular event that future medals should perhaps be struck with a return address stamped on the back.
In the case of Greene, a one-nag cavalry has arrived in the form of the IAAF, which has backed the Olympic champion by pointing out he is a goodwill ambassador for the Beijing Olympics, an increasingly dubious honour anyway.
"With every ambassador we do an immediate check with the doping department - in this case they said no, we don't have anything," a spokesman named Nick Davies revealed. "None of this is new ... I read about this guy and this rumour four years ago."
Whew. We are all quite worried up until then.
But the relief quickly subsides when you remember that this is the same doping department which failed to record any negative tests from Jones, who forfeited her impressive stash of gold medals after confessing to performance-enhancing drug use leading up to her glory days in Sydney.
Previous suffering at the hands of a rumour is hardly a stout defence either, as Davies implied.
There had been more innuendoes than medals hanging around the neck of Jones - she surrounded herself with men who were swimming in the juice - before she was revealed as a cheat many years after her golden triumph.
Whatever your stance on drugs in sport, the rules are the rules for now and they are being routinely broken.
The Olympic sprints, once a glamour dash for a place in history, have become as kosher as a ham-and-cheese sandwich with plots and excuses straight from television's Crime and Investigation channel.
For bizarre, nothing beats the two Greek sprinters, winners of gold and silver in Sydney, who failed to turn up for a series of drug tests and went as far as faking a motorcycle accident at the Athens Games to concoct an alibi.
Greene has issued all the standard denials but the ghosts of fallen reputations - Jones, Ben Johnson, Carl Lewis, Linford Christie, Kostas Kenteris, Katerina Thanou et al - are running in the lanes beside him.
The evidence against Greene is said to include documentation of a money transaction between this Olympic land-speed merchant and a speed merchant called Angel Guillermo Heredia who, as the CI channel would say, is helping investigators with their inquiries.
Natural justice demands that we still regard Greene as innocent for now.
But he has admitted meeting Heredia, and explained that he, Greene, often paid for items used by other members of his training group but didn't know what he was paying for.
It's an appropriate line, because we'll watch the Beijing sprints and still be in the dark as well.
CARTER'S OFF TO EUROPE
Dan Carter is off to Europe - even the New Zealand Rugby Union is admitting it. The time is fast approaching when the fabled black jersey will become the symbol of a sporting ghetto. The Super 14 is beyond saving as a truly elite competition but the NZRU should scrap its domestic rule and allow the selectors to at least have the chance to pick overseas-based players and thus save the All Blacks' reputation.
HAND OVER BLUES' TORCH
Benson Stanley for captain - that's my call for the 2009 Blues. If there were any decent alternatives, stumbling Blues coach David Nucifora should strip ill-disciplined skipper Troy Flavell of the job right now. But if there were any decent alternatives, Flavell wouldn't have had the job in the first place.
The hope for the Blues is that emerging talent such as Stanley isn't tainted by this sinking ship. Someone needs to put a broom through the forever-failing place - it's time for a new generation to take over and set standards that will stand the test of time.
Pat Lam must be a shoo-in for coach when Nucifora departs, and presumably Lam will want his Auckland assistant Shane Howarth alongside. Lam might seriously consider appointing the rising Stanley as a brave new captain to lead the way. He plays with commitment and common sense that wouldn't look out of place at the Crusaders.
TAYLOR NEEDS LESSONS
The NRL should throw the book at Souths' coach Jason Taylor for calling his players off the field for a mid-game pep talk during Monday night's clash against Cronulla. Claiming he didn't realise it went against the rules is unforgivable. There are 10-year-olds at the local park who know that once you're on the field you stay there unless replaced.
SIR ALEX ALWAYS SCORES
Manchester United are heading for another English football title, and you can only marvel at their manager Alex Ferguson. From setting David Beckham adrift, realising when it was time for Roy Keane to go, and turning the World Cup flare-up between Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo into a non-event, he scores just about every time.
What you really have to admire about Ferguson, apart from his longevity and success, is that his United are always interesting to watch.
ANGRY TIGER SCARY
Tiger Woods is a truly amazing golfer, so good that placing second in a major is widely regarded as a sort of failure, including by the man himself. Poor Tiger. Worse still, he has already failed in his bid to win a calendar Grand Slam this year and will have to trudge through the rest of the season with this self-imposed millstone around his neck and a target on his back - not that anyone is particularly willing to fire at it.
Woods reckoned the slam was "easily within reason", which again revealed an arrogance to match his ability. An obsequious golfing media generally laps all of this up in slurp-slurp fashion, most of them scared witless of upsetting his royal golfing highness. And angry Tiger is scary, very scary. At least Woods can't claim to have been misquoted, having made the grand slam statement on his website.
He is a golfer beyond fabulous, and it is genuinely exciting to watch this phenomenon in action. But he's also a precious bore.
TENNIS HEADER OVER LINE
Here's a strong and early candidate for the optimistic sporting headline of the century. Tennis New Zealand's online newsletter announced with great excitement: "New Zealand Wins Davis Cup" after the 3-0 victory over Kuwait in the Group Two clash. Details to follow about the street parade.
