Split-second decisions are part of top motor racing for drivers like Jason Richards. He's taken a longer-term decision now; to miss the Hamilton V8 Supercars event this month. He's too busy saving his own life.
Richards will no longer be taking part in the Hamilton series from April 15-17. He intended to be with his team, but now he'll be in Michigan in the US instead - meeting with specialists to fight a rare, aggressive form of cancer that is trying very hard to kill him.
Richards, a Team BOC driver, affectionately known by others in the sport as JR, has been earning praise for his inspirational return to racing recently - coming second at Race 2 at Albert Park at the Australian Formula One Grand Prix in Melbourne last weekend and earlier in March getting a first in a Fujitsu series at the Clipsal 500 in Adelaide. His efforts saw his trademark smile return after a grim battle with his cancer - inspiring the crowds and reducing his family to proud tears.
The inspiration was that Richards was driving - and succeeding - even though he is still trying to escape cancer's pitiless grip. He needed some fun; a break from the battle. Winning was just a "bonus", he said.
In a Herald on Sunday exclusive, the former Nelson boy, now Melbourne-based, talked about his elation at getting behind the wheel again with unexpected success.
But he said no one should mistake his driving as a comeback. An interlude, yes. An act of defiance, maybe. But he has a new full-time job now - beating cancer.
He has three plans to do so. An operation and supporting chemotherapy was plan A. He had a 3.5kg tumour cut from his stomach which had left him "puffing" like an asthmatic last year while driving, followed by two rounds of chemotherapy. The chemo was hard work; but Plan A didn't work.
Plan B is taking part in a new worldwide drug trial. He found out a week ago that he had been accepted onto the Sydney arm of the trial and has already started treatment. He is just praying he is on the actual drug and not a placebo.
It's like, he said, doctors effectively "flipping a coin" over his chance of getting the treatment he very much wanted. The placebo, used by doctors as a control measure in drug trials, may not stop the cancer's inexorable march around his body. The new drug might - but no-one knows for sure and Richards is in the terrible position of not knowing anything at all.
So he has a plan C - heading to Michigan on April 12 to meet with experts on a cancer so rare (adrenal cortical carcinoma) that he has only been able to find two other people with it in Australia.
According to NZ Ministry of Health data, only 2-4 Kiwis are diagnosed with it per year. Otago University's assistant professor Michael Sullivan, who works in the cancer field in Christchurch, says this type tends to affect people in the "middle years" - those in their 20s, 30s and 40s - but can affect the young too. He said the chances of beating it can be influenced by its location, how quick it is diagnosed and if it has spread.
Richards is frank in admitting the cancer is "very aggressive". Asked how it has affected him, he unzipped his race jacket in Adelaide to reveal a giant scar running almost from hip to hip and another two roughly 10cm scars coming off the main surgeon's cut. He removed his cap to reveal his locks gone and says he's currently down 4kg on his usual 72kg frame.
He jokes that his doctor has instructed him to "eat like a pregnant woman", avoiding seafood, soft cheeses and things that could spur an infection. But he is trying to eat anything he feels he can keep down. Gone is his former love of coffee and sugary juices too - and he will now even scoff pizza if he thinks it will stay in his stomach.
JR, who turns 35 next Sunday, is keeping his sense of humour but the only time he stumbles in the interview is when he says the hardest part of trying to beat the cancer is staying strong for his family, wife Charlotte and daughters Sienna, 3, and Olivia, 1.
Asked about his daughters, tears flowed: "My girls melt me. It's my biggest fear ... I have to be here for them," he said while dabbing tissues to his eyes. It's been hard for his daughters to understand why their dad is always in hospital. His cancer is something they are too young to comprehend fully and relate to it via the physical scars on his stomach.
He said he keeps racing cars when he can for them "to show them that the poster they have on their wall is me."
Richards says a full-time return to racing is a long way off while he takes "one day at a time" trying to get better. But, if all goes well with his treatment plan, then he promises to be behind his Holden again at the L&H 500 at Phillip Island in Victoria from September 16-18, and at the Supercheap Auto Bathurst 1000 in New South Wales on October 6-9.
He said the V8s are important to him and his recovery: "I'm a racing driver; that's what I do. I've grown up with the people in the V8 paddock. They're my extended family and I got so much positive energy from that these past two weekends," he said.
Charlotte Richards paid tribute to her husband of four years, and partner of 15-years, saying he had been "incredibly strong" even when he had struggled to stand and was vomiting.
"But he's still Jason, still smiling and still got his humour - despite his world being turned upside down."
Charlotte said she cried when her husband got a standing ovation recently at Adelaide's Clipsal 500 after he took out race two in the second-tier Fujitsu Development Series. She said it felt good to see him return to racing and forget cancer "for a moment; even though it never leaves my head."
Jason Richards meanwhile apologised to fans for "not having the capacity to tell everyone fully what has been going on" until recently.
He said Kiwis' constant messages of support on Facebook help him enormously and he has been uplifted by support from so many other areas too.
"My illness has broken down all the barriers between Ford and Holden and I have to thank everyone for their support. It's been unreal."
Motorsport: Richards in the fight of his life
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