French lesson: Flavio can't be stopped

Flavio Briatore's lifetime ban for cheating in Formula One has been overturned. Photo / Getty Images

How do the bloody French do it? As far back as the blowing up of the Rainbow Warrior, and subsequent death of Fernando Pereira in Auckland Harbour, they have thumbed their noses at the rest of the world. In fact, if my memory serves me right, the French government promoted the bastards who sunk the boat on their return to France.

Now we have a French Tribunal de Grande Instance overturning a lifetime ban on ex-Renault Formula One team principle Flavio Briatore. The man who orchestrated Nelsinho Piquet to deliberately crash his car so team-mate Fernando Alonso could win. I'd say that boarders on attempted murder.

Should it come as a great surprise that the French have decided to give the finger to the rest of the motorsport world? Not really, because for one they're French, two the FIA is in their country and the bloke who actually pulls all the strings wants at least a couple of car manufacturers to remain in the sport.

In the past I've had various pops at Bernie Ecclestone and his almost dictatorial approach to the sport, but have lately come to regard him with a begrudging respect.

In an exclusive interview recently in the Weekend Herald, I asked him about the moral decline of F1 and if it bothered him. His reply was an Ecclestone classic, "The standard of the sport is the same as it always has been. The sport doesn't need to recover from anything because it hasn't been damaged."

I suppose it is hard to ruin something that's always been a bit dodgy. He went on to say, "Things now that perhaps went on years and years ago are known now because we are so super professional. We keep our eye on every single thing.

"Homosexuality has been going on for years and years, and years ago nobody knew anything about it. Then all of a sudden things come to light, and when it's all brought to light people start looking at things and making sure people are following the rules or not."

So there you have it, straight from the man himself. He welcomes the open transparency that surrounds the sport now. So my call on recent developments is...

In a back room somewhere, Renault said they didn't have enough money for the lads to play with their very expensive toys and were going to pull out of the sport. Also they were miffed their former team boss had been banned for life.

You know what the French are like, all ego and no substance, so Bernie said I need at least a couple of car manufacturers in my sport so here's the deal. Renault you stay, well, keep a bit of an interests anyway, and I'll see if I can get Flavio a bit of slack.

In the meantime, I've got Schumacher back in a car and it's silver, not red, so the Germans will be happy and the new boss of the FIA is ex-Ferrari so they won't complain now they just about own the FIA (Ferrari Internal Affairs) and they've finally got Alonso to race in red.

From Bernie's point of view, and whether we like it or not, he's always managed to gain worldwide interest in his sport year in year out. Not bad for a 78-year-bloke who'll only leave F1 on his terms and his alone. Bernie's by no means losing his marbles, in fact I still reckon he could beat the pants off most of us.

Although just about every motorsport fan's saliva glands the world over are working overtime with the prospect of the 2010 F1 season, where it really is an open field for the first time in many a year, 2007 world champion Kimi Raikkonen may have the last laugh.

The Finn is hitting the dirt this year to drive for the Citroen Junior Team in the WRC and had this to say on the German Red Bulletin site, "There's too much politics in Formula One. No one is wiling to say what they think in public because they are afraid it will be taken out of context.

"The atmosphere in rallying is a lot better. It's more about the drivers' performance. In F1, every lap is more or less the same. It's more difficult if it rains, but otherwise it soon becomes a routine. In rallying, every corner or hill might be different from what you expected."

Isn't the WRC back in NZ this year? Must go and have look...

He may have a point, because up until now the off-track skulduggery (or in Renault's case, on track skulduggery) has been far more interesting than the racing.

- Eric Thompson