Malakai Fekitoa: Why I'm leaving New Zealand rugby

Malakai Fekitoa. Photo / Getty

Family first. No, this is not an election slogan. Rather Malakai Fekitoa's main driver for leaving New Zealand after the provincial campaign for Auckland.

Fekitoa is back in the blue and white hoops, back where it all began on these shores. The 24-test All Blacks midfielder has his sights set on claiming a title before departing on a lucrative two-year deal to glamour French club Toulon.

In his softly spoken but refreshingly open way, Fekitoa has detailed for the first time his motivations for leaving with seemingly so much of his career ahead of him. He understood his sudden slide down the national pecking order after being a regular starter last year. At 24, he decided to grab the chance to support his extended family, and plans to return to New Zealand once his stint in France is complete.

"As a rugby player I always want to be No 1," Fekitoa said. "If I can't have that then why hang around and be third or fourth choice? I can't control that. What I can control is my career and this weekend's game.

"It was the hardest decision I've ever made because I've just started my career. Ninety per cent of fans disagree with it but I believe it is the right time for me to do that. I think it will make me a better player. I will grow and do something different. I felt I've been stuck in one spot for a wee while.

"I will be back, and that is what I'm looking forward to as well. I don't know when but I will be back."

Fekitoa grew up in Tonga and moved to Auckland after gaining a scholarship to Wesley College. In his early years, a large door from the village hall fell on him, dislocating his hip which needed treatment in the form of traditional massage from his grandmother for over a year. That experience, combined with being the eighth of 15 children, instilled a hunger to grab opportunities to improve life for those close to him.

Fekitoa's mindset in this regard mirrors that of fellow All Blacks Steven Luatua and Charles Piutau, both of whom left with their best yet to come.

"When we talk about family... for a lot of us in this team that is all we play for. I would have loved to have grown up in a different scenario with a different life but this is what we have to face - to look after all the siblings and stuff like that. All of us Island boys are doing that. Even when my sister is married and has kids I'm still doing that. That's what we play for. It's always family comes first.

"I didn't make the decision straight away after the selection. I had everyone that meant a lot to me help out - my family and my brother in France. Everyone else gave their opinion but I had a lot of support and it made the decision clear. I feel it's the right decision."

Being dropped from the All Blacks took its toll on Fekitoa this year. He admits to taking setbacks to heart and reading deeply into form frustrations.

Returning to Auckland appears to have given him a new outlook. He is keen to mentor other Pacific Island prodigies within the team, and keen give his all to end this chapter of his New Zealand career on a positive note. This Saturday he starts in a backline featuring George Moala, Vince Aso and Caleb Clarke, the son of former All Black Eroni who makes his debut, against Counties Manukau in Pukekohe.

"I'm back smiling again after a stressful season for me. I tried too hard during the Super season. I think it's good I went through that now rather than later because when I come back I can face anything and I'll be ready.

"I want to win a championship with the club. It's been 10 years. I will lead by example with my actions and have fun and enjoy my last time at this club."