New York Giants tight end Jerome Cunningham (right) stiff-arms New England's Jonathan Freeny. The game provided plenty of highlights for ESPN's NFL RedZone programme. Photo / AP
New York Giants tight end Jerome Cunningham (right) stiff-arms New England's Jonathan Freeny. The game provided plenty of highlights for ESPN's NFL RedZone programme. Photo / AP
Sunday in the United States is reserved for a different kind of religion: football. And with double-digit NFL games taking place in the space of seven hours, fans are treated to a lengthy and action-packed service.
There was once a problem with such a glut of games - a house has room for only so many television screens. But NFL RedZone solved that issue in 2009, presenting simultaneous coverage of every Sunday afternoon game. It's a chaotic but impressively-coherent show and, now broadcasting on ESPN in New Zealand, I decided to spend Monday morning catching every touchdown.
7am
Are you ready for some football? A beaming Scott Hanson certainly is. As RedZone host, his job is to make order of the madness, assisted by, I presume, a producer with eight sets of eyes. That's how many games are about to kick off but Hanson promises we'll see every touchdown.
There's plenty of early scoring but it's a little hard to follow. Hanson has no such trouble, however, and describes important plays we miss - like a fumbled punt, or a "Jarryd Hayne", as it's now known.
8am
I'm starting to gain a better sense of who's playing who as the games stretch into the second quarter. I'm also starting to get a little hungry, but that can wait 'til the halftime break.
There is no halftime break! The vagaries of clock management mean Packers-Lions remains in the second quarter while other games start the second half. We see the Lions level at 3-3 and I'm reminded of RedZone's value - imagine being stuck watching this stinker.
9.09am
The show is initially democratic in its coverage, with a rare touchdown chance for the bumbling Browns occupying equal screentime as the unbeaten Panthers and dancin' QB Cam Newton.
9.45am
But now, with most clashes entering the final couple of minutes, it becomes a meritocracy, with the production rightfully showing preference for the four games still in the balance.
10am
It has also become more gripping, with fewer cutaways and split-screens allowing for extra context and drama. Like a bone-headed Baltimore penalty throwing away a certain win and allowing Jacksonville's Jason Myers to kick a game-winning 53-yard field goal.
10.19am
As the Packers try and fail to level it against the Lions in the last early game, we catch our first look at the second slate of three fixtures, as "Kiwi" Rhett Ellison scores for the Vikings.
Tom Brady is here. The morning just became a little more beautiful. Taking on nemesis Eli Manning and the Giants in the pick of the contests, Brady's first appearance ends in a Patriots touchdown, of course.
11.08am
Eli's older brother, the great Peyton Manning, throws his league-leading 15th interception of the year. Fewer games means it's far easier to get a sense of a narrative thread - like Peyton sucking - though significantly reduces the standout plays.
11.31am
Less toggling also provides a chance to show some of the minutiae that makes football fun - and, admittedly, occasionally dull. But that matters little when it's raining outside, making me feel less guilty about spending seven hours on the couch.
Somehow, with halftime approaching, another overlap means viewers are still spared the trauma of no football. This makes me wonder what happens if there ever is a break.
12.05pm
It doesn't take long to find out. With only one game kicking off its second half, a "TV timeout" does two things - makes me thankful for this show, and provides our first sight of Hanson in five hours. He says we're skipping two total hours of commercial time and, with the dire state of the ESPN Australia ads, that is a true blessing.
12.46pm
Here's something I didn't expect: Peyton Manning is benched after throwing his fourth interception of the game. RedZone reacts by showing a player standing motionless on the sideline for the first time in its history.
Manning's performance leaves the Broncos being blown out. But, thankfully, we're being treated to another Pats-Giants classic. Otherwise my interest may be starting to wane in a seventh straight hour of football ...
1.42pm
It's the only competitive contest on the slate, so now we're exclusively watching the thrilling end of Pats-Giants. Before RedZone, I would have been following 140 characters at a time on Twitter.
1.55pm
Pats win with a last-second field goal. Hanson signs off by boasting we saw 48 touchdowns and zero ads, which may sound appealing to an NFL neophyte. But, while RedZone is a wonderful product, use with caution. Because everything glossed over - the strategy, the defence, the commentators' waffling - is how fans learn to love the NFL. Ask yourself: would you rather watch an intelligent, slow-boiling action movie, or an endless compilation of car chases?
Monday was an eventful day in the long and illustrious career of Peyton Manning. Photo / AP
Monday was an eventful day in the long and illustrious career of Peyton Manning. First, the legendary quarterback broke the all-time record for passing in the NFL, moving past Brett Favre by reaching 71,840 yards. Then he was benched. While injuries were partially to blame for Manning throwing almost as many interceptions (four) as completed passes (five), it's now clear the 39-year-old should have already retired. It was miraculous enough Manning found top form after having neck surgery in 2011, but it's long been time to call it quits. However, he's not the first sporting legend who had the misfortune of hanging on a little too long ...
Michael Jordan
The greatest of all time retired from basketball on three occasions. It's a blessing he reconsidered the first retirement - Jordan was brutal at baseball - but a curse he did the same the second time around. After securing another three-peat with the Bulls and leaving basketball, Jordan spent three seasons on the sidelines before returning to the NBA for two unremarkable years with the Washington Wizards.
Derek Jeter
A name perhaps less familiar to Kiwis, Jeter wound up his sparkling career with the New York Yankees in 2014, or about two years too late. Jeter finished sixth all-time in career hits and won five world championships, but those glory days occurred more than a decade ago. Like Manning, injuries saw Jeter's abilities disappear almost overnight, and his farewell tour doubled as the worst statistical season of his career.
This one is just sad. Three of Ali's five career losses came in his final four fights, but the damage done extended far beyond his record. Watching the 30 for 30 documentary Muhammad and Larry, which examines Ali's decision to come out of retirement and fight Larry Holmes in a failed attempt to win back the world title, it's clear a frail and fading champ should have been nowhere near the ring.
