Steven Alker has won two PGA Champions Tour victories this year. Photo / Getty
OPINION:
1. Steven Alker's lucrative retirement party
It's a heartwarming story, if you're into that sort of thing.
Journeyman Kiwi golfer plugs away with little success and less acclaim for half his life, winning a few measly million but never the nation's attention.
Suddenly, after turning 50, he turns intoa gun, playing himself into contention every week, picking up a couple of victories and seeing his earnings skyrocket.
Great stuff. The temperature of my heart has indeed risen.
But we should probably leave it there. Alker is, after all, competing on the Champions Tour, playing against obscenely rich old dudes who, somewhat inexplicably, are continuing to receive obscene riches.
That may cause the heart to cool slightly, but it's is a pretty obvious explanation for why Alker has become a gun at 50, the age of entry into a rather lucrative retirement party.
It's no knock on the Hamiltonian, who is clearly playing good golf. Yet that context should be a warning to avoid getting carried away about his achievements, to avoid comparing him favourably to Danny Lee or Ryan Fox.
While Alker's doing well his success should be viewed in a similar manner to any stories of senior citizens' sporting accomplishments. Cute, but let's not hand them the Halberg.
2. Baz's big shot
Given the impulsive manner with which he batted, it would be no surprise if Brendon McCullum thought for all of two seconds before accepting the England test gig.
It was an easy call, with rankling a few Kiwi fans the only possible drawback, something McCullum will live with.
The incentives, conversely, are myriad. The money, of course. The chance to jump straight to the top of the coaching tree. And, most of all, what success will mean in this particular role.
England have long - like, centuries long - had an outdated view of their own importance. Their teams can act like success is a birthright, which makes their continuing failure all the funnier.
But that context sets up McCullum to become a god in England. While the limited-overs side have recently beaten the world (sorry), the test team fell flat on their face in their last chance to claim the prize that matters most.
With the 2023 Ashes already in England's sights, winning back the urn would trump anything Coach McCullum could achieve elsewhere in the world.
3. Nix any thoughts of failure
This marks another year without a playoff victory for the Phoenix, who haven't won a finals game in a decade. But in the context of the obstacles they faced throughout the season, it was one of their most laudable campaigns.
To start with the obvious, it's not difficult to imagine how difficult a club must find operating in another country: look at the Warriors and Breakers.
One finished the season last on the ladder. The other occasionally play as if they'll somehow find a way to finish worse than last.
The Phoenix had some bad moments, too, copping a few thrashings. But those results, along with serious injuries and messy Covid scheduling, just added to the adversity.
All of which means this first-round playoff exit won't cause any recriminations. Like Jamie Young's save that sealed their fate, it was a freakish year.
4. No reason for Steve to grizzle
It would be understandable for casual fans to have seen Steven Adams being benched in the playoffs and wonder what went wrong.
And, indeed, Adams' inaction and the general direction of the NBA hardly bodes well for the 28-year-old, who is somehow only 28.
But this second act to the Kiwi's career is a gift, regardless of whether opposing coaches render him unplayable in certain series. And unlike the $28.5 million on his contract next season, it was never guaranteed.
Adams' career could have gone in many directions after his perennially contending Oklahoma City Thunder team were dismantled. His first stop, for a season in New Orleans, was one forgettable route.
So to end up on the Memphis Grizzlies right as they're beginning to rise is close to a best-case scenario.
Adams started 75 games this season, playing a key role in helping his new side earn a two seed. With Ja Morant becoming a superstar, they'll expect another good playoff run next year.
And even if Adams spends that run waving a towel on the bench, he's still in one of the best situations of any Kiwi athlete on the planet.
5. Winning trophies Wood be nice
Included in that same category is Chris Wood. In fact, he and Adams have more than just their imposing statures in common.
Wood is also part of a team on the ascent, with Newcastle's injection of Saudi Arabian oil money virtually guaranteed to lift them into Europe's top tier.
And the Kiwi striker will, like Adams, perhaps have to be content with a more limited role than he may like, a victim of his club's imminent success.
Newcastle will undoubtedly invest in the forward position this summer, leaving Wood, under contract for two more seasons, an occasional spectator.
But being a role player on a team in contention is a fine way for the 30-year-old to begin his second decade in professional football, having already proven himself a Premier League goalscorer.
And although Newcastle haven't won a major trophy in half a century, St James' Park still has a reputation as one of England's best sporting cathedrals.
Success will only enhance that atmosphere. Wood, even in the stands, will have a hell of a view.