KEY POINTS:
Sky Television could be a place for cricket commentators to run free and wild. No one gets there by accident. People have paid to watch. It could be assumed this loosens things.
It doesn't. Sky's style is a careful blend of gravitas and familiarity, the latter turning up in pre-match chats with the captains, referred to as "mate". The commentary team also ask long and leading questions, freeing otherwise intelligent and articulate cricketers from the risk of a wrong answer.
The gravitas comes from interviewers having to go on camera in suits and stand around looking at a length of tightly mown grass to discuss its "character". Yesterday's consensus was the grass would maintain its character right to the end, and that its being "turf" and not a "drop in" was good.
There were sage predictions the ball would "hoop around" and "kiss through" and that the English batsmen would do well to remember that "New Zealand's bowling was tight in Wellington".
Once the game got underway the bowling was not tight and the English batsmen flogged it all round the ground, until a couple of them were quickly dismissed. This put them in a "consolidation phase". Soon after they went back to belting some less-than-tight bowling.
Cricket is an awkward game to commentate. Unlike soccer, rugby union and rugby league, which are more or less continuous, cricket has long pauses needing filling. It opens the way for cliches, and insider references, often turning out to be the same thing, with a lot about "carry to the keeper", "opening the gate", and "shutting the gate".
Sky's commentary team is drawn from ex-test players. Athletes who have reached the top can be solid, determined types and it seems to make for milder commentary than we'd expect from broadcasters first and athletes second such as the likes of Keith Quinn, Brendan Telfer, Bryan Waddle, and yachting's Peter Montgomery.
The Sky team, led by Ian Smith, with Martin Crowe, Mark Richardson, and Simon Doull, opt for the conservative. This is sensible. Cricket is year-round and tours are world-wide, making it one of the better career sports for commentators.
Criticism is muted, with anything positive getting the stronger push. There are no repetitions of this writer's experience, when as a comments man for televised basketball I informed the audience that one of the teams wasn't up to it, the players didn't have the skills, and the coaching plan was sadly predictable.
A significant number of the television audience agreed and switched off. Advertisers noticed and there were complaints. The network found a way to go on without me.
Sky's camerawork is first class and the graphics snappy. However, something is missing. The matey atmosphere has pervaded the game itself. The sneering, glaring, and rage that once made one-day cricket compelling appear to have gone.
Having them back might balance a thick atmosphere of goodwill.
