SuperSport's They Said It: 'The NRL needs to set up a brothel liaison office'

"The NRL needs to set up a brothel liaison office. If players are away on tour, they could ring another local brothel ... and arrange a service with a qualified sex worker for five or six players."
Only five or six? What about squad rotation? Fiona Patten, of the Australian Sex Party, has a plan to save the NRL from itself.

"We're sorry, but the course is too dangerous. We don't want to risk our health. The circuit is not safe enough. We hope the fans understand."
Race leader Danilo Di Luca explains to the crowd why he and his fellow cyclists stopped pedalling in protest at the unsafe conditions on the the ninth stage of the Giro d'Italia last weekend. Team Rabobank's Pedro Horrillo was in a coma after veering off course, tumbling over a guardrail and falling more than 76 metres into a ravine.

"Normally you have to be polite and respect the other manager, but during the season we have seen a lot of things that I didn't like, so that's it. I say congratulations to United because they won. And that's it."
Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez can't bring himself to say "congratulations" to Sir Alex Ferguson.

"Maybe Andrew Strauss would be sad if test cricket dies and Twenty20 comes in because there is no way he can make the change. So tough luck. Tell him don't sleep with Chris on his mind; tell him get Chris off his mind."
West Indies skipper Chris Gayle doesn't like test cricket, and he doesn't like England captain Andrew Strauss criticising him.

"If anyone ever decides to nuke this place, only cockroaches and Chanderpaul would survive."
Commentator Ben Dirs on Shivnarine's efforts for the West Indies against England.

"The Crusaders will win and the Hurricanes will win. And then the Crusaders will win in Wellington."
So sayeth Robbie Deans; not that he's biased or anything. Mind you, the Wallaby coach does know a bit about the Crusaders winning.

"I can't pretend that I am not massively disappointed."
England's one-time wonderboy Danny Cipriani, who is now considered England's sixth best first five-eighths.