SuperShorts: The Ronaldo raise

If you think ticket prices for an afternoon watching Auckland fumble their way around Eden Park are a tad steep, spare a thought for the good people of Seville. The cheapest seats to watch local side Sevilla host Real Madrid at the Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan next week are a snip at €110 ($225).

Loss of faith
The worst propaganda campaigns die the quietest deaths. Has anyone else noticed that Sky has discreetly stopped running those "In Ted We Trust" blurbs that until recently popped up in ad breaks and programme promos on the sports channels?

He's lovin' it
Washington Redskins rookie Robert Henson has closed his Twitter account after pissing off the team's fans. Although he hasn't taken to the field this season, Henson felt compelled to fire off an online shot at Redskins fans who booed the side during last weekend's 9-7 win over the St Louis Rams. He called the fans "dimwits" and asked how people who "work 9 to 5 at McDonald's" could know what's best for the NFL team. That'll win the fans over.

Love match
What is it with love matches between Aussie golfers and tennis starlets? First there was Adam and Maria and now there is Adam and Ana. After Adam Scott rebuffed the affections of Maria Sharapova last year, her game went to the dingoes and now Ana Ivanovic has been bundled out of the first round of the US Open. Not pointing the finger, but ... At least Chris Evert can be relieved she had hung up her racket before marrying the Great White Shark, Australian golf legend Greg Norman.

All at sea
Having failed to convince the sports department boss to buy a new 4.7m fishing boat for snapper hunting on the Gulf, SuperShorts looks with envy at Roman Abramovich's newest runabout. Measuring a respectable 170m from bow to stern, Eclipse is the world's biggest mega-yacht and has two swimming pools, two helipads, an onboard missile defence system and a Bond-villainesque escape submarine. No word about whether it carries a fish finder.

Fergie time
It seems the conspiracy theorists are right: match officials do give Manchester United more extra time when they're chasing a winning goal at Old Trafford. Since the start of the 2006-07 season, on average, over a minute extra has been added when United do not have the lead after 90 minutes, compared with when they're in front. The Guardian crunched the numbers: in 48 games when United were ahead, stoppage time was on average 191.35 seconds. In 12 matches when United were drawing or losing there was an average of 257.17 seconds added.

Penalty fluffers
The latest theory on why England footballers miss the mark in penalty shoot-outs has been announced. Psychologists at the Norwegian School of Sport Sciences say the players suffer from "self-regulatory breakdown". Sounds like "choking" to us.

The Force is with Jedi
Hats off to our mate Jedi. His Alternative Rugby Commentary website (www.arcrugby.co.nz) comes in at No 10 on the British Telegraph's list of the top-20 rugby websites.