SuperShorts: Nelsen's column

Nike's HQ in the Chilean capital of Santiago is the latest - and perhaps unlikeliest - place to be gripped by All Whites fever. The office's front window is plastered with 10m-high pictures of the brand's global stars: Brazil's Fabiano, Holland's Sneijder, Portugal's Ronaldo and, er, Ryan Nelsen. The All Whites captain is shown with another Kiwi player in the background, both wearing Nike kit. Our correspondent could hardly contain his pride when passing the information to SuperShorts.

Browned off
Our next despatch from Chile is not such a happy one. One of the country's major papers, La Tercera, has just published its World Cup guide. Like all teams, the All Whites have their own page in the guide. It includes a brief description of our star player - Ryan Nelsen, of course. Only problem is the photo shows Tim Brown. SuperShorts demands our government make an official protest.

Sumner's reach
All Whites great Steve Sumner received Fifa's Order of Merit this week, sharing the stage with someone a little more famous in soccer circles. Sumner - who captained New Zealand at the 1982 World Cup finals - got his gong alongside Dutch hero Johan Cruyff, a boyhood hero of the honoured Kiwi. "As a young man, watching him play, he was in my best four players of all time ..." said the Christchurch seafood exporter. "There were guys like Pele, Cruyff and [Franz] Beckenbauer and, latterly, there was [Diego] Maradona. To be in amongst guys like that is amazing."

Blackpool manager Ian Holloway heaped praise on Cruyff last weekend: "Johan Cruyff, what a player he was. Imagine having a turn named after you."

That's nothing, Ian. Steve's got a beach named after him. Beat that, Dutchy ...

Spot the obsession
More news from the boffins doing valuable research into soccer players scoring penalties. Psychologists have found that under anxiety, penalty takers become fixated on the keeper and tend to kick the ball directly at him.

Greg Wood, a psychologist at the School of Sport and Health Sciences at the University of Exeter, said the main problem when taking a penalty was not skill but anxiety levels.

"We definitely have a problem with this in England, especially when compared to other teams such as the Germans," he said. "Records show that while Germany wins 80 per cent of their penalty shoot outs, England loses 70 per cent of theirs.

"If I was giving advice ... I would say pretend you are in a practice match, look at where you are going to hit the ball and hit it there. Totally ignore the goalkeeper."

Thoughtful stuff. It's a good thing these scientists aren't wasting their time on things like renewable energy or cures for cancer.

The singing sandwich
When your food talks back at you, it's time to lay off the drink. World Cup madness has landed in England. The Tesco supermarket chain has released a singing sandwich (left) that belts out a few lines of "Ole, Ole, Ole" when the box is opened.