SuperShorts They Said It: 'I've said it before, I can't kick'

I've said it before, I can't kick for s***, but hopefully in the next two weeks I can try and work on it.
Great. So the All Black second five-eighths Ma'a Nonu is going to learn in two weeks a skill that Kiwi players once learned from the moment they first laced on boots.

"There have been many cases when a fake injury has changed the dynamics of a game, everyone knows that. Fake blood. Fake injury. What's the difference? To ban Dean for three years is plain wrong. Dean's biggest mistake was using an idiot like Tom Williams, who winked as he came off."
England player applauds cheating, shock! Former England prop Jeff Probyn stands by Dean Richards.

"It's looking like the Tour de France will not have any positive tests for a number of years. I think that's a big step forward for cycling."
UCI president Pat McQuaid takes pride in the, er, "cleaned-up" Tour de France. Cycling rejoice! Only one of the 2009 stage winners has so far failed a doping test. So far ...

"If I had known you got a bottle of champagne for run-outs I would have practised more!"
England's pie-loving allrounder Andrew Flintoff after receiving a bottle of bubbly from the commentary team for the Ashes decider's "champagne moment" - a direct hit to run out Ricky Ponting.

"We know your responsibility is to inform us, but do so patriotically. Use the freedom of press we gave you properly, because we can take it from you."
ANC politician Winnie Madikizela-Mandela warns South African media to say nice things about Caster Semenya. Write what we say, or we'll take away your press freedom.