Tonight, in Rome, the world circus championships begin. Sorry, that should be world swimming championships. It should be a great occasion. But it'll be a zoo.
FINA, the world swimming body, has lost control of its own sport. The hi-tech swimsuits, which aid speed and have produced 135 world records since they were first permitted in February last year, will be in full flow.
The extent of the problem was probably best expressed by Australian head swimming coach Alan Thompson, who predicted that all the world records set at last year's Beijing Olympics will fall in Rome. This could be the most farcical world championships ever seen, in any sport.
FINA have now moved to solve the problem - finally - by passing the following new rule: "No swimmer shall be permitted to use or wear any device or swimsuit that may aid his speed, buoyancy or endurance during a competition."
The words "or swimsuit" are new and have been left in capital letters by FINA.
But that doesn't apply until after the world championships and the world records set in Rome are likely to stand - even though many will be set by swimmers wearing suits that artificially aid speed. It's a nightmare for the sport and whatever else happens, credibility will drown in the pool in Rome.
Some swimmers will be wearing the hot, new suits - Speedo's LZR Racer, the suit responsible for most of last year's world records, is now widely considered obsolete and slower than Jaked's 01 and Arena's Powerskin R-Evolution.
Some don't agree with the technology and won't wear them. Others will honour sponsor obligations. Still others will swap suits to get into the fastest thing going.
Which means the records that tumble in Rome won't necessarily be set by the best swimmers - just the ones with the best wardrobe. There will be rogue results; rogue records and the gurgling sound you will hear in the background of any TV coverage from Rome will be the sport's integrity running down the drain.
FINA did move on the swimsuits recently but deferred to legal threats just a few weeks ago from the manufacturers.
They produced scientific demonstrations and testimony to say the suits didn't aid buoyancy and/or trap air in the costume, allowing increased speed through (or, rather, on top of) the water.
So FINA retreated and the swimmers scrambled for the new suits - even though they will be outlawed soon after the world championships end.
The Speedo suit, which was part-textile, allowed a certain degree of permeability but the second generation suits that have followed are polyurethane - and thus impermeable; trapping air and increasing buoyancy.
But let's not get caught up in the detail. That's what FINA did. That's how they lost control of this issue and their sport.
You either embrace the new technology or you don't. By failing to bite the bullet ahead of the Beijing Olympics, where the Speedo suit ruled, and then trying desperately to fit technical advances within swimming's existing rules, FINA lost the plot. The Speedo suit might have let in a little bit of water but FINA let in the lawyers - and leaked credibility; draining themselves of authority.
Surely, it is either all or nothing. Technological advances in sport are hardly unknown. Look what advanced technology in clubs and balls have done to golf, for example. Tennis racquets changed drastically years ago. Football has been changed by balls which can move more in the air. Changes to wheel technology and suits have affected cycling.
But surely a full-body suit which makes people go faster was too big a change to have been so meekly accommodated by FINA. Technology either has to be standard and freely available to all, so we get what used to be known as a level-playing field. The best athlete should win, not the best costume.
The Speedo suit and all others which followed it should have been banned by FINA from the get-go. What was needed wasn't space-age technology; just leadership.
It won't end there. What happens next also has the potential for farce. FINA must now decide what swimsuits are acceptable. Some in swimming are so chunked off with the whole situation, they are now advocating a return to briefs for men and simple one-piece swimsuits for women.
There is farce, too, in major proportions with the likelihood that FINA will let the suit-sourced world records stand. This will promote a situation where, in swimming and track and field, some world records with more than a whiff of performance-enhancing drugs stood for many years. Ludicrous.
Small wonder British Beijing double gold medallist Rebecca Adlington is refusing to wear the new suits and called them the technology equivalent of "doping".
The Americans and the Australians would now like to limit swimsuit coverage beyond the shoulders and below the knees. Michael Phelps, for example, swam to glory in Beijing wearing just a waist to knee costume rather than the "full Monty".
The Americans, however, wouldn't argue with a return to briefs. Team coach Mark Schubert said: "It wouldn't be something that we would be opposed to," adding that "with briefs the best swimmer always wins. Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing?"
Well, quite.
<i>Paul Lewis</i>: Credibility takes a dive
Opinion by Paul Lewis
Paul Lewis writes about rugby, cricket, league, football, yachting, golf, the Olympics and Commonwealth Games.
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