By DAVID LEGGAT
It was among the most enduring images of the Manchester Commonwealth Games.
New Zealand goalkeeper Helen Clarke sunk on her haunches, head down, near inconsolable at the end of the game against India, where victory would have guaranteed at least a silver medal.
The Indians had pinched a 2-1 semifinal win, ending New Zealand's dream of playing for gold. The subsequent 4-3 loss to Australia left the Black Sticks fourth and for the second Games in succession trooping home with nothing tangible to show for some strong, quality performances.
At the Sydney Olympics two years earlier, the chance of playing for the gold medal slipped through their fingers on the back of a critical late umpiring decision which cost the Black Sticks a win over Spain, followed by a 7-1 lost to Argentina which left them sixth .
Clarke felt those setbacks keenly, and in part that's why she's back today determined to help push the Black Sticks towards Athens in the Olympic qualifying series at Lloyd Elsmore Park.
"That's the thing that keeps me going. We can get reward for the time and effort we put in.
"You put your heart and soul into these [Games] tournaments and it's just been those little things which have upset the plan.
"At Sydney an umpiring decision threw us off course and we missed a medal we could have got; Manchester was really frustrating."
The 32-year-old Mt Roskill Grammar English and physical education teacher has 146 caps.
Having made her debut in a defeat against Korea in 1991 and been through two previous Olympic campaigns, she is well placed to drum into her younger team-mates just what is at stake.
"That's the beauty of this tournament.
"You try and tell the younger players a bit about it. You try and stress how desperate everyone is. They all want to go to the Olympics."
Clarke is not big on looking into the crystal ball but she acknowledged that "in the back of my mind" she knows this is her last Olympic tilt.
"That will give it an edge.
"I believe this team will be at the Olympics so I haven't thought too much about it.
"I'll try and savour each moment on the pitch, try to contribute as much as I can and if I manage to pull off a blinder to help us get through the next step that'd be fantastic."
Clarke has been through the evolution of goalkeeping equipment in her 13 years with the national side.
The latest version, modelled on ice hockey masks, has something of the Darth Vader look to it, but Clarke swears by its efficiency and comfort.
"It's a lot more comfortable than the old ones.
"This is not the old one-moulded piece, it's now in two parts and fits really well.
"With those old ones, if it didn't fit your head shape, tough luck."
Clarke said the team have not broken down the tournament in terms of points required, teams against whom victory was essential. That's been left largely to coach Ian Rutledge.
Too much clutter, as Clarke puts it, is not desirable. But she knows nothing will come easy over the next week.
"There's going to be very tight games. We've been focusing on our performances rather than the results in our leadup.
"We wanted to work on our techniques and getting our performances where we want them to be.
"I think they are, and we must have belief we can foot it.
"If we don't believe we'll get there, that will show in our performances."
Hockey: Clear goals after so many setbacks
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