Great Minds: Matt Heath discusses happiness with Kieran Read

Herald columnist and Radio Hauraki breakfast host Matt Heath is taking on a new role as Happiness Editor for our Great Minds mental health project. He will share his own insights in his search for wellbeing as well as interviews with international experts in the field.

Times of great change are difficult in life. Imagine heading home after 15 years training hard every day to knock opposition on their arses in front of screaming fans. Two weeks ago, I Zoomed Kieran Read to ask him about his happiness in retirement. We enjoyed a long, fun and unstructured chat. So lengthy, last week's article never got to the purpose of my call - post-retirement happiness. So here's part two with the great Kieran Read.

Rugby retirement is a significant change. Were there official rugby people around to help with a happy transition?

No, not around retirement. But my family were great, and the Rugby Players Association is brilliant when it comes to playing overseas. When I went to Japan, they were awesome. They have people who look after you. Getting in touch, making sure when Covid hit, you've got ways to get home.

Did you worry that you would struggle to fit back into civilian life?

Nah, I never worried about it. I'm very fortunate and privileged not to have to apply for a job. I don't have to get on the phones and ring round. I'd studied and done a few different things throughout my career, plus I spent the last four or five years preparing myself for what was coming. I decided I really wanted to get into leadership and helping people. So I have been looking forward to using what I've learned in rugby across other experiences.

Sounds like an easy landing? I was hoping for some drama for my happiness article. Some brutal life lessons from an ex-All Black Captain's post-career hardships. It makes us mortals feel good when we find out people like you are struggling.

Haha, well, it hasn't been completely easy; you do miss so much of what you had. As I said to you before, there were 15 years of my life in which I was told where to be and what to eat and where to train and then suddenly I had to do it all myself. But on the other side, I had missed a lot of family stuff while I was away doing that. So it's balance. Man, since I've retired from rugby, I've spent real quality time with my family. I've been there for them. That's a massive bonus. But I will say you really miss the connections in the teams. A rugby career is literally going in every day and seeing your best mates and laughing and working hard. It's really fun. I miss that a lot. Not so much the actual playing, haha. Since retirement, I've had to make an effort to find those connections in different ways. It's not just waiting there for me anymore. I actually have to get on the phone and ring mates. Go for a coffee with people. Make an effort to catch up with my friends.

"You really miss the connections in the teams," former All Blacks captain Kieran Read says of retirement. Photo / Mark Mitchell

The career you had must help with retirement. You're one of the most capped players ever who got to decide when his career ended. It didn't end with injury. You didn't commit some horrific scandal and lose your career. I mean, you were acknowledged in the Queen's honours for what you achieved. It must be tough for players whose careers just get cut off.

Yeah, that would be really tough. Lots of people don't get the chance to do all they wanted to in their sport. I got to achieve a lot of it. I'm very lucky in that respect. To leave of my own volition and still have a body that works pretty good is amazing. I've still got plenty left in me for playing in the backyard with the kids.

As much as it's a big transition from rugby to civilian life, did the sport give you things you can use?

Yeah, what players don't realise is the great skills they are picking up from rugby. It can really add to what you do post-career. You know, like teamwork and everything that comes with being able to push yourself and a group of people in the right direction. It's so beneficial in all of life. When you finish something, it's important to remind yourself that you are not starting from zero. There are people with great skills who don't know how to work with others. They don't know how to strive for a goal. To work hard for something. Rugby taught me a lot that I am using now. You learn a lot over 15 years doing something, no matter what it is. You've got to look for what you've learned when you move on.

Yeah, but you are in a slightly different position when it comes to moving on because you will always be All Black Captain Kieran Read to the rest of us.

I dunno. Maybe people look at me like that, maybe not. The way I see it, being an All Black was so much fun and so great, but from my point of view, it's done. It was what it was. I don't think about it that much. I'm just me. It's the past. It's a different mindset for me now. Take exercise. I really like running. That is my outlet. When I was playing, I'd be pushing myself really, really hard — always taking myself to the limit. So it hurt. It was always painful. That part was not fun. Whereas now, I can go for a run and just cruise. It's so nice just to cruise. Not be on the clock, not having to make a time. Just enjoy a run, man it is so good. My rugby career was an honour; it was great. But it is what it is, and I'll just be me now, you know?. It's pretty good.

It makes me happy thinking of Kieran just cruising. He's earned it. Although it turns out cruising for Read includes competing in the 12-hour Kiakoura Adventure Race. He also smashed 84 runs in the Black Clash at the start of the year, so he's not taking his retirement that easy.