Chris Rattue: Mr Perfect must take rough with smooth

The crusade against global warming will continue, but the fight for the planet's future is having to share the headlines with something far hotter - the Tiger Woods affair.

When it was revealed that Tiger came toodling uncontrollably out of his driveway in the wee hours, the world was shocked, not the least because we'd assumed the most obsessive sportsman on the planet would be either sensibly tucked up in bed or maybe even analysing the contours at Augusta.

And how on earth could a man who lands a golf ball on a pin head fail to negotiate his car around such sizeable objects.

The most staggering thing was to find Mr Perfect doing anything to hinder his hellbent and highly detailed pursuit of sporting perfection and golf's most famous record.

Woods didn't spend nearly as long behind the wheel as the evil OJ Simpson on his infamous journey, but the ride will be just as famous because it was so out of character.

Woods, an American dream, ran over symbols of their fabled picture perfect, caring communities - namely a fire hydrant and a neighbour's tree.

He could have scored a trifecta by doing wheelies in a church car park, if he'd still been conscious that is.

But Woods quickly found a way of carrying on with his reckless ways, denying access to an icon of American goodness and justice - the state troopers.

Then he waved a red rag at a suddenly bullish media, pleading for privacy. Spin doctors have put their four hundred dollars an hour's worth in already - but in the immediate aftermath of Woodsgate any spin doctoring will be like spitting on a bushfire.

The internet loves stuff like this, and so do the jokesters who can ponder lines about wayward drivers.

The bottom line is that the world, and what was a fairly private world, has dramatically changed for Tiger Woods.

A control freak with a near-perfect image, he has lost both control and that image for now. Unfortunately, if they are untrue, rumours of an affair will be hard to wash away.

As for ridicule, who ever thought that his wife would become equally famous for wielding a golf stick.

Woods left his cosy home in more ways than one when he entered his neighbour's yard. The golf machine was stripped away, to reveal something more vulnerable and real.

Don't start counting this sporting phenomenon out though, or believe that this simmering scandal will somehow derail Woods' golf game. This is just a blip, you can fairly safely guess. Rest assured, he will be back, as fierce as ever.

The short and less than revealing statement on his website was unintentionally humorous when it asked "for some understanding that my family and I deserve, some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be".

For a man who camps in our living rooms, beating opponents and selling products designed to give our wallets a good thrashing, he's got some nerve.

Woods will get all the privacy he deserves, which is none if the media has its way. As one of the most famous people on the planet, Woods must have had his head in a bucket of balls for too long if he hasn't noticed that superstars sell, and not only things they are paid handsomely to sell.

The Hollywood set loves to slap the paparazzi down. Yet the media pack is a product of the same competitive world which has produced a phenomenon like Woods and many others of his ilk.

The guy with a camera tucked into his beach bag, or the snoop who slips a wad of notes to the servants, is out there doing what Woods does, trying to win a battle. They are also trying to earn a living by feeding the public's appetite. The prying only pays dividends because the public, by their actions, approve.

A British tabloid journalist, when challenged years ago on a new wave of journalism that no longer kowtowed to the Royal family, explained it away as "shining a light on the magic".

You can make excuses for voyeuristic journalism, you can defend it, attack it, or debate it forever and a day. But it ain't going away.

Considering his fame, Woods has managed to keep the world at arm's length with amazing success and some ruthlessness. At the first sign of trouble, he acted by sacking a lippy caddy.

Woods must have known that the best way to keep the press out, of keeping a favourable status quo in place, was to avoid running over a fire hydrant and thus opening the floodgates.

In other words, he had a very fair deal, and he broke it.

Woods has so much going for him though that his balls-up will find a soft landing.

Just about everyone in golf is not only in awe of his achievements, but also runs scared of the guy.

The game is pretty much lost without him because Woods has created a whole new golfing world, and it is one that thrives only when he is in it.

His aura is such that as soon as golf became an Olympic candidate, you knew without a doubt that it would get in.

Woods can hide for now, assured that the well-mannered sport of golf will offer him a worldwide protection squad which is also protecting its own interests.

It was difficult to know exactly how Woods would react in the immediate aftermath of his mis-drive, but certainly no surprise that he retreated behind the walls while throwing a dart over the top containing his vague statement.

There is one line in the press release which does ring very true though: "I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again."

Woods has advantages over other more controversial characters in righting his ship. For a start, he doesn't have addiction problems, a la big John Daly.

Woods has a lot of brownie points stored up with the public, despite his sometimes grumpy and ungracious demeanour around the course and a very precious attitude to criticism or comments he doesn't like.

Big business has so much invested in him that the white horses will already be saddled.

And the sports world is fascinated by his single-minded hunting of the Jack Nicklaus record, that of winning 18 major titles, and wants it to continue.

Tiger has been caught off guard, and more may be revealed. He and his family are embarrassed. If he has told clear lies, he is a fool.

But once the dust settles, and it will, he's a bloke who knows how to swing into action with iron determination. Operation Clean Cut will be back in full force in no time, and so will his stalking of the magic Nicklaus number on the fairways.

A reasonable prediction is that Tiger will retreat behind those walls, get his house in order, and emerge - chauffeur-driven by his army of fans - as determined and well-prepared as ever.