By DAVID LEGGAT
"And now the end is near,
And so I face the final ... "
Hang on a moment, Frank. Anyone thinking of applying the big full stop to the playing career of New Zealand's greatest golfer can put the pen away right now.
Sir Bob Charles, 68 years young, and on a "50 Years A Champion Tribute Tour", has no intention of putting the clubs in the cupboard and reaching for the slippers just yet.
The only New Zealander to win one of golf's majors, the British Open of 1963, is on a trip around eight courses on which he won significant New Zealand titles, along with the place he learned the game, Masterton Golf Club.
Organised by New Zealand Golf and Paul Gleeson, who managed his career for over 20 years, it has given Charles a chance to see how the courses have changed, and given fans an opportunity to see the legendary leftie swing a club up close perhaps for the last time.
There's also money to be raised for melanoma awareness and New Zealand junior golf, which has long benefited from a percentage of his yearly earnings.
But there's plenty of life left in the tall, lean frame. He will be back on the Champions Tour for the over 50s in the United States next year, playing between 15 and 20 tournaments.
What he has done is finish playing competitively with the modern brigade of players, armed as they are with rocket launchers in their bag and balls which zing an indecent distance off the tee.
Mentioning the march of technology to Charles is a bit like lighting the touchpaper on a firework: stand back and wait for the blast.
"I'm very much against it. I'd rather still be playing with hickory shafted clubs," he said, perhaps only half joking. "I think modern technology has taken a lot of skill away. The ball goes straighter and it's easier to control."
Courses are getting longer as officials try to counter greater distance off the tees. The result is that classy players who don't have the strength off the tee are being counted out of contention.
"It's ridiculous. It's not golf, and the sooner the powers-that-be put clamps on the performance of the ball, put restrictions on manufacturers on how far the ball goes, the better for everybody.
"A lot of courses are becoming obsolete with the ball being driven 300-350 yards. Courses should max out at 7000 yards. They're now playing 7200-7400 yards. It's not a level playing field any more.
"Everywhere you go people are looking for tees further back. It shouldn't be that way."
Now that's out of the way, Bob, what about all those fist pumping high fives. Remember this is a man whose trademark acknowledgement to the crowd is a brief touch of the visor. Hrrmph ...
"It doesn't sit well with me. And I can't stand those cricketers hugging and kissing each other after taking a wicket. That's nonsense.
"I'm of the Bjorn Borg mould. I hated John McEnroe and I loved Borg. It didn't matter what came his way, his demeanour was just the same. He was unruffled, he never argued with umpires.
"The abuse which referees and umpires get these days is demeaning to what that particular game stands for."
It wasn't that way when Charles discovered golf in the late 1940s. It was not necessarily his first choice. He loved all ball games and admits he had a chunk of natural ability, whether it be at cricket, tennis, golf or table tennis.
A rugby injury at 12 ended any All Black hopes, and sidelined him from the following cricket season, so at about 13 he took up golf.
It had the attraction of not requiring an opponent, or team of opponents, "so I spent many hours practising and playing as often as I could. I had access to Masterton Golf Club, about a mile away, although uphill on a bicycle it felt longer than that."
Within five years he'd won the first of four New Zealand Open titles at Heretaunga in 1954, an 18-year-old amateur who led from the first day. Nine years later came the British Open at Royal Lytham & St Annes.
Throw in a slew of titles on the US PGA Tour, Europe, the seniors tours, many millions in the bank and you can fairly plonk the adjective "great" before his name.
It's worth adding that for many years he was regarded as the world's best leftie - interestingly Charles, who is righthanded in everything else, calls it a doublehanded backhand - and arguably the game's finest putter.
There's a true story about Charles playing in an event in the very recent past. He was lining up a 20 footer. Two top Americans of the current crop were about to tee off a few metres away.
"Hang on," one said. "You gotta see this guy putt. He's incredible." Right on cue, Charles drained the putt.
It's often been said that Charles differs from many of his generation, or even those 20 years younger, in that he continues to play for the sheer love of the game.
By contrast, Jack Nicklaus, four years younger, has played just six times this year; the 49-year-old Greg Norman seven. When Bob and David Charles line up in the US$1 million Father and Son event in Orlando at the end of this month it will be his 21st tournament of the year.
"It's the fascination of the game and how you can never master it. It's the 1, 2, 3 or 4 good shots which I happen to hit in a round that keep bringing me back. Of course I'd rather forget the 1, 2, 3 or 4 bad ones.
"It has its challenges, different environments, different weather conditions. It's man versus the course, and the elements."
Next year? More of the same.
An easy hole to finish. Of the thousands, is there a favourite round, one where he felt he could not have played any better? A gentle par 3 turns into a tricky dog leg par 4.
A long pause, then a dry "they're few and far between".
Then this: "I suppose one of the best I've had was the 64 at St Louis, Missouri. It was the first occasion in competitive golf I bettered my age. I was proud of that effort."
Rightly so.
He was 65 at the time.
Favourite foursome
Sir Bob Charles' dream four (including himself)
* Tiger Woods: "I've played only three holes with him. He has the opportunity to catch Jack Nicklaus with the number of major wins."
* Ben Hogan: "In my book he's the greatest player who ever lived. Look at his record."
* Bobby Jones: "In his [pre World War II] era, he was virtually unbeatable."
* And if Charles stood aside, Jack Nicklaus would make up the four - "They're the four greatest players ... well, Sam Snead was pretty close in there, too ... "
Golf: Legendary leftie settling into cruising the courses
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