Paul Lewis: Long or short, you can't predict golf

Now the Masters is two rounds in, it is clear that truckloads of twaddle were talked about the lengthening of the Augusta National course.

It is also clear that the world's media do themselves no favours sometimes with 'issues' like Augusta National and Richie McCaw beaten up into unrecognisable lathers.

Sadly, some stories are all too easy for journalists to write and whip up - and that's why you will find precious little reference to the McCaw 'cheating' story in this publication. Cheating? Give me a break.

It's the same with all the fuss about Augusta National lengthening itself to such an extent that the tournament had cut all the short hitters out of a chance of winning.

Hello? Is this golf or what? Show me a certainty in golf and I'll show you a deranged person who is doing the showing.

Take a look at the TAB. The odds, even on the Masters favourites were pretty long. Guess why? It's because this is the least predictable sport on the planet.

Long hitters nearly always have an advantage in golf. Unofficial law No 1. But they still have to get the ball in the hole. Unofficial law No 2. Good short-game players - good chippers and putters - have an advantage when it comes to Unofficial law No 2. Unofficial law No 3. Put it together and you have the delicious uncertainty of golf. If you have a player who can embrace all three unofficial laws, well, you probably have a world No 1. So that explains Tiger, then.

OK, great judges like Jack Nicklaus have had a crack at William 'Hootie' Johnson, head of Augusta National. Johnson's shrine-like protection of the Masters and Augusta make him an easy target. Especially as he comes across as a good ol', mint julep-sipping, southern boy who doesn't want women to be members at Augusta.

But Johnson is only doing what no one else in golf is - protecting the game from the onslaught of technology. Club and, in particular, ball technology means that average driving lengths have increased by about 20m in the last 10 years at top level. And that's just the average length. Some of the big new guys, like Bubba Watson, are ripping it so far out there that acknowledged 'bombers' like Woods and Phil Mickelson are outdistanced.

The guardians of the laws of the game are the Royal & Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews. Poor old sods, they've had their heads so far buried in their own bunkers that they've let the new technology - new clubs, new hybrid clubs, new balls and much much more - march straight past them. There's been a debate for years now that the game of golf needs to step in and crack a few laws down. Outlaw certain clubs or certain balls.

The problem is that it's kind of difficult to un-invent technology, especially when you've let everyone use it for years.

It's small wonder that Johnson and his cronies have reacted by making Augusta so long (7445 yards or 6807m) that it's the second-longest course ever for a major.

The longest was Whistling Straits, home of the 2004 US Open. The winner there was Retief Goosen, who in that year had the following statistics over the PGA season: Driving distance 45th; driving accuracy 125th; greens in regulation 17th; putting 11th; birdie average 5th; scoring average 5th; sand saves 25th; putts per round 47th.

Goosen's long but hardly a huge hitter. Or a particularly accurate one off the tee. What it does show is that Goosen is one tough golfer and he won in 2004 because his putting on the concrete greens was better than anyone else's. Mickelson came second that year. And who chased him and Goosen home in 2004? Why that'd be those long hitters (driving distance stats for 2004 in brackets) Jeff Maggert (148th), Mike Weir (138th), Shigeki Maryuama (157th), Fred Funk (192nd), Stephen Ames (89th) and Chris di Marco (176th).

Apart from Mickelson and Ernie Els, everybody else in the top 10 was not an acknowledged long hitter in the longest major course yet. Weir won the 2003 Masters when it was a course that should have disadvantaged him. But he was straight as an arrow and sunk every putt going.

Now look at this year's Masters. Chad Campbell is leading - and he's not in the top 50 for distance or the top 120 for accuracy. Long hitters like Mickelson, Vijay Singh and Els are in the mix but comparative length-midgets like Rocco Mediate, Tim Clark, Billy Mayfair, Olin Browne and 54-year-old Ben Crenshaw, for Pete's sake, were all in the top 10 yesterday. But they are accurate players with good short games. I rest my case.

Nicklaus, while saying that Augusta had gone too far, said that they were trying to do the right thing but the wrong way. He also said that no one had found the right way to do it. True - but maybe it is time golf decided to corral the club technology or rule on which balls can be used. Maybe it is time they decided to restrict the number of clubs a player can use.

But what they shouldn't do is what Sam Torrance advocates. Torrance, a former Ryder Cup player and captain, said fans wanted to see professionals winning tournaments by 25-under, for the excitement of birdies and eagles.

No, they don't, Sam. Ordinary golfers want to see the pros tested, just as we duffers are tested by every course, every time. If it's tough for the pros, tough. Exhibition matches as a constant diet: boring.

We would rather see them work for a living.

-HERALD ON SUNDAY