KEY POINTS:
It remains unclear whether this was sport, theatre or merely a chance for the masses to ogle one of the most famous men in the world.
But that's enough about Ricki Herbert.
Just for a change, this is a story about David Beckham, husband of Posh Spice and father to Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz.
Beckham, a jobbing footballer for such clubs as Manchester United, Real Madrid and his latest plaything, Los Angeles Galaxy, achieved something Ryan Nelsen hasn't managed in five years - to play a meaningful match in this country.
Sorry, scratch the 'meaningful' bit. Nobody really cared about the result, except maybe Beckham, whose passion for football and innate competitiveness has been echoed in barrow-boy Cockney tones ever since he touched down in the nation's capital on Thursday.
It has to be said that there were a few empty seats at Westpac Stadium but nowhere near as many as greeted Wellington and the Hurricanes this year. Astonishing really, the fact that people are so captivated by a brand. Sure, he's got a decent right peg and hits a nice outswinging corner but it's his fame that he's really famous for. And his tats.
Football has this weird tradition of chaperoning the combatants on to the field with kids. Beckham put his arm around the boy assigned to him, sending thousands of women, gay men and possibly commentator Glen "I've got goosebumps" Larmer, into fits of jealousy.
Unfortunately for the crowd, the next 90 minutes were taken up with football, of a sort.
The Phoenix scored first through skipper Ross Aloisi, whose profile and salary in comparison to Beckham can be measured only in fractions.
The next was scored by some bloke from the Galaxy whose name wasn't Beckham but crucially, Golden Balls, as he was christened by Posh, did something in the build-up.
The next most famous player on the pitch was Landon Donovan. His name might suggest a guitar-strumming cowboy but he has recovered from the shame of not being rated by Kevin Fallon during the under-17 World Cup held here in 1999 (most disagreed and Donovan was named Player of the Tournament) to carve out an excellent international career.
He scored but all the credit went to Beckham, who was again involved in some obscure way in the build-up.
In between times, Beckham went troppo at referee Mike Hester, a godsend for the sideline photographers and a wonderful example to the kiddies.
A quick pan of the crowd at halftime picked out cricketer Stephen Fleming, cricketer James Franklin and ex-cricketer Gavin Larsen - this really was a red-carpet evening.
Galaxy scored again, yawn, but then there was Beckham! Down the middle! He's through on goal! Will he bend it?! Like Beckham!
With all the finesse of a blacksmith, Beckham missed pretty much everything. Never mind. The referee came to the rescue, manufacturing a penalty that could euphemistically be described as dubious. Up stepped Beckham.
GOOOOAAAAALLLLLLL!
And, hey, he took his shirt off at the end. Don't pretend you were watching for any other reason.
