Mullet men: Carlos Henrique Raposo, left, with Gaucho and Renato Gaucho Portaluppi. Photo / Twitter.
Mullet men: Carlos Henrique Raposo, left, with Gaucho and Renato Gaucho Portaluppi. Photo / Twitter.
The greatest footballer never to play football? Meet Kaiser, the Brazilian footballer, ladies man, legend… and liar.
Kaiser, born Carlos Henrique Raposo, had spells in the 1980s at Flamengo, Fluminense, Botafogo and Vasco da Gama, the four powerhouses of football in Rio de Janeiro.
He was a contemporary and pal of greats of the game like Bebeto and Renato Gaúcho. He lived the 1980s football superstar life of money, mullets, and lots of sex.
But if you look in the record books, you will find no appearance data for Kaiser, no goals. That is because he was very careful never to actually PLAY football at any serious level.
None of this would have worked if he wasn't a) a loveable rogue who people enjoyed having around the place and b) a brilliant liar and bounder.
Bebeto, who actually WAS a great footballer, was a mate of his. Smyth quotes Bebeto: "His chat was so good that if you let him open his mouth, that would be it. He'd charm you. You couldn't avoid it. That would be it."
Kaiser says that his friends gave him his name because of his style of football as a kid, reminiscent of German great Franz 'Der Kaiser' Beckenbauer, but there is the strong suggestion that this was a self-awarded moniker.
Carlos Henrique Raposo, known as Kaiser, in Guarany Futebol Clube kit In the 1980s and 1990s. Photo / Twitter.
His gift for deception extended to all areas of life: he like the high times but never had any money. He'd always have a problem with the cash machine, or he'd misplaced his wallet.
Aside from blagging his way in football, his other great talent was for chatting up women: he reckons to have slept with well over a thousand. Clubs and real footballers loved having him around because he invariably brought beautiful girls. He was no use on the pitch, but he made for a happy dressing room.
For Raposo, being a footballer was all about the glamorous lifestyle — and that meant women.
He boasts of sleeping with 1000 women, often pretending to be a friend of football royalty Gaucho or showing them grainy video footage of Gaucho scoring goals, claiming it was him.
He boasted: "Every night I would be in nightclubs until the early hours of the morning. In fact I was never in a fit state to train or play in the morning.
"I made sure I was seen with the greatest Brazilian footballers. Just being a football player made me a magnet for women.
"I was addicted to sex, like (actor) Michael Douglas. I would sleep with at least three women a day."
"He created a fun, happy and lighthearted mood," says Alexandre Torres, the former Brazil international and son of Carlos Alberto. "He would tell stories and he would get players dreaming. I think that's why everybody liked him so much."
Among the dozens of great stories in the book and the film is the one were Castor de Andrade, Brazil's gambling king and very much not a man to be trifled with, took a shine to Kaiser.
Castor signed him for his team Bangu Atlético Clube, mainly because he liked his company, but then decided at short notice that he'd like to see his new signing play. Kaiser was duly stuck on the bench the next day, and was panicking that the boss would realise he was a no-hoper.
He couldn't refuse to go on, he couldn't play. So he took the third option: of punching a fan and getting himself sent off before he could even get on the pitch. Due to this quick-thinking, Kaiser's caper would continue.
