Gil Merrick, England's keeper, said his principal memory was the FA asking them to leave because it was too expensive. Check me in: Sadly, it's long gone
1970 World Cup: The Guadalajara Hilton
The worst organised, most disastrous journey of the lot that ended up with the world champions having to check into a motel before their quarter-final with West Germany. Worse, the Germans' wives and girlfriends were already there. By this stage, Sir Alf Ramsey had offended just about everyone in Mexico, insisting that fresh fruit (one of the country's principal exports) be flown out from England.
Ramsey allowed the players to sunbathe "for 15 minutes on your front and 15 minutes on your back" and had his trainer, Harold Shepherdson, enforce it with a stopwatch. Check me in: Double rooms from £66 ($135)
1982 World Cup: Los Tamarises, Bilbao
Manager Ron Greenwood tested the mattresses before confirming the booking. The hotel was secluded and by a cliff face to deter Basque terrorists and photographers.
Unfortunately, the first photograph sent back when the contract was announced was of a dead dog on the rubbish-strewn beach. There were views but only to a refinery. Despite all this, Los Tamarises was probably the most successful base England have employed.
It was the first to have a games room and the owner gave each player a bottle of wine from the year of their birth. Check me in: Rooms from £60
World Cup: El Camino Real, Monterrey
The Camino Real is a big red tower in the mountains above Monterrey. It was from one of its balconies that Bobby Robson was photographed head in hands, staring blankly down to the swimming pool below, apparently contemplating suicide. He was actually listening to Whitney Houston on a Walkman but it didn't stop the "Fool on the Hill" headlines.
Check me in: Camino Real, Monterrey, rooms from £85
1990 World Cup: Is Molas, Sardinia
Until England checked in, the Is Molas was best known as a venue for golf's Italian Open. Then it became notorious for a three-in-a-bed romp with an entirely innocent hotel employee called Isabella Ciaravolo, who claimed she could not possibly have gone to bed with any member of the England squad because they were so ugly. The story is now regarded as grotesque fabrication but it stemmed from the FA's error in not booking up the whole hotel to keep it free of the press, some members of whom were determined to humiliate Bobby Robson.
Check me in: Closed for winter but reopens in March. Rooms from £76
2000 Euros: Balmoral Hotel, Spa
A decade on and the lessons of the Is Molas had been learned. England booked the entire hotel and, with the ludicrous optimism Kevin Keegan was famous for, they booked it for the entire tournament. It earned the Balmoral £250,000; more than any other country paid for its accommodation. The players were unimpressed. "A drab, old hotel" is how Gary Neville remembers it. Fortunately, England's ineptitude, particularly against Romania, who were staying in a three-star hotel for a third of what England paid, ensured that he would be swiftly checking out. Check me in: Rooms from £120
2006 World Cup: Brenners Park, Baden-Baden
The players were 19km up the road in the Schloss Bhlerhhe.
The wives, girlfriends and families stayed in the Brenners Park along with journalists. The Wags' venue of choice was besieged as a symbol of everything decadent about football. They actually drank far less champagne than was claimed and probably the most distasteful thing that happened was Gary Neville's dad jumping on the tables to belt out God Save the Queen to celebrate England's victory over Trinidad & Tobago. Check me in: Rooms from £338.
- Independent
