Michael Burgess: Why Kiwis can't begin to comprehend England's sporting grief

OPINION:

If you come across an English football fan over the next few days – be gentle.

They'll be in a dark place.

Imagine the All Blacks losing to France in the 2011 Rugby World Cup final, with the Tricolors scoring a try in the dying seconds at Eden Park.

Imagine the sense of shock and disbelief, the home heartbreak and how New Zealand as a sporting nation would have mourned.

That might help Kiwis understand what the English are going through.

Sure, it's only a football match – but this one meant so much, 55 years after their last appearance in a major final.

And the circumstances of the defeat probably made it worse.

Back in 1966, England were winning 2-1 at Wembley, when Wolfgang Weber equalised for the West Germans in the last minute. It was a scrappy goal, after a disputed free kick and the 96,000 crowd were stunned.

As his players gathered in a huddle, Sir Alf Ramsay famously told his players "You've won it once. Now you'll have to go out there and win it again."

They did, thanks to two Geoff Hurst goals in extra time.

On Monday morning it felt like England 'lost it twice'.

Bukayo Saka of England misses his team's sixth penalty in a penalty shoot out which is saved by Gianluigi Donnarumma of Italy. Photo / Getty Images.

After an early goal, The 'Three Lions' were still ahead 1-0, with 25 minutes to play.

It's never easy to close a game out – but Italy's task was more difficult, finding an equaliser while making sure they didn't concede a killer second.

But England sat deeper and deeper, taking a passive approach to defending their lead and inviting more pressure. An Italian goal felt inevitable, even if the manner of their strike was a little fortunate.

Then England were ahead in the shootout - and if Marcus Rashford's shot went the other side of the post at 2-1 up – history might be different.

The penalties came down to confidence and experience.

English coach Gareth Southgate probably had too much confidence in his young trio, while they didn't have enough of either to deal with a moment of pressure that has no comparison across sport.

Looking on the bright side, England should be contenders for much of the next decade, after an impressive tournament.

They finally beat Germany in a knockout match and then progressed through a semi-final for the first time since 1966.

After reaching the last four at the 2018 World Cup, these are heady times.

Harry Kane (27) and Raheem Sterling (26) should make another cycle, along with defensive rocks Harry Maguire (28), John Stones (27) and Jordan Pickford (27).

Around them is an array of precocious talent, with Phil Foden (21), Rashford (23), Mason Mount (22), Bukayo Saka (19), Jack Grealish (25) and Jude Bellingham (18), among others.

It wasn't that long ago that England couldn't even qualify for the European Championships (2008) or were stumbling through FIFA World Cups (2010 and 2014), so the future is bright.

But navigating your way through major tournaments is always precarious.

Leonardo Bonucci of Italy lifts The Henri Delaunay Trophy following his team's victory in the UEFA Euro 2020 Championship Final. Photo / Getty Images.

Italy, for all their pedigree, last won the European championships in 1968 before Monday.

Belgium's golden generation has come and gone.

Germany have built an amazing team in the last two decades – and won a World Cup – but also lost four semifinals and a decider at major championships in that period.

Hopefully England get another chance. But their fans know it won't be easy, which only accentuates the pain.