Supershorts: Newsflash!

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In breaking news: Somerset have beaten Pakistan by five wickets in a match at Taunton next Thursday.

The 2011 'building block'
The bosses of English rugby can hardly be accused of setting unreasonable expectations for next year's World Cup. John Steele, the newly appointed chief executive of the Rugby Football Union, had his first meet-and-greet with the press in the role and cheerfully described the tournament as "a building block towards 2015".

Which is odd, because the way the Poms bleat on about All Black failures at the big tournament, we'd come to think they might regard success at the event as a worthy goal in itself.

The Special(ly drab) One
Also on a confidence low is the once-Special One.

"I am a coach, not Harry Potter. He is a magician," says Jose Mourinho, the Real Madrid coach not particularly renowned for downplaying his talents. "Magic is fiction and I live for football which is real. I've only been two months in Madrid. Do you know how many training sessions I have had with everyone together, including the new signings? Not even 10."

Bring back the Special One!

Bolt booked
Usain Bolt is feeling confident: "When I finish I'd like to play football for two years," he intones, huffing on his nails and cleaning them against his chest. "I always watch those guys and I think I could be a professional footballer. I'll try that. Maybe I could get into a good side or even an average side. I'm definitely a good player - a defensive or attacking midfielder."

Wow, such confident talk! It's certain to get headlines. It couldn't be that the Lightning Bolt has a book to promote, could it? Yes, it could.

'An awful place'
Brazilian waif Robinho has said his farewells to Manchester City and he's not one to patronise the locals. "Manchester is a sensational venue for football but an awful place to live," he declared, giving Eastlands a wave. "The winter, the cold and the dark nights. It's very hard for a young Brazilian."

It's not much chop for young Mancunians either, mate.

Rooney and Co.
Jenny Thompson, the 21-year-old escort from Bolton whose dalliance with Wayne Rooney made it into the redtops, has some impressive Premier League numbers.

"Juicy Jen", as she advertises herself, was reported to have slept with six defenders, three midfielders and four strikers, with two of the players married with children.

One source quoted in the Daily Star said: "She deliberately targeted footballers because they're so rich, flash and fundamentally not the sharpest pencils in the box.

"Some she really fancied and had genuine one-night stands with. Others she thought nothing of charging. Others were Facebook friends or people who just wanted to have her one day."

Good week for...
Todd Carney
A year ago, he was in the wilderness for booze-related lunacy. Now he's the Dally M Award winner. "Hopefully, one day it won't be the 'bad boy Todd Carney' that won the Dally M," says bad boy Todd Carney who won the Dally M.

Bad week for...
Scottish soccer
It took an injury-time goal from Stephen McManus to secure a 2-1 victory over Liechtenstein (population: 35,629) in a Euro 2012 qualifier. "Obviously I'm a very happy man," said Craig Levein, coach of Scotland (population: 5,168,500).

The number...$241million
The amount the 2010 Tri-Nations tournament will contribute to the sport and leisure economy across the Southern Hemisphere. It's set to rise to $295 million when Argentina join in 2012.