Ten things that will happen at the World Cup

Every four years the greatest show on earth rolls around. For a month one billion people will tune in to watch the World Cup as 32 nations battle it out for the biggest prize in sport.

And although the unpredictable nature of football is one of the big draws, there are some things that are predictable - and others that are certain.

1. England go out on penalties.

They just will. End of story.

2. African teams fail.

Blame Pele this time. Since 1990, there's been a popular pre-tournament groundswell that an African side will reach the final for the first time. This time the greatest player ever has said it. They never have. They won't again.

3. Cheating always prosper.

Fifa will tell referees to stamp on the scourge of diving and red card the offenders. It will become the single most important matter in the world. Heads of state will be asked their opinion. Everyone will forget about it within two days. Ronaldo will not get sent off.

4. Spain flatter to deceive.

Everyone's favourite third team (because Brazil is everyone's favourite second team) are always tipped as winners. Another fantastic qualifying run coupled with their first major tournament victory in the Euro championships two years ago means the they have become one of the favourites. They'll be on the plane home before the final.

5. Fabio Capello; hero and villain.

England's manager will be under the harshest scrutiny of any manager given the brutal press and the unforgiving fans. He'll be on the brink of losing his job and there will be calls for a knighthood. On the same day.

6. Germany go all the way.

Everyone's least favourite team have been poor and are largely unfancied. They are nowhere close to the great German teams of the past and injury has robbed them of their captain. So no-hopers...who will get to at least the semi-final.

7. New technology.

A controversial decision leading to a goal, or disallowing a goal, will mean a hysterical debate on the merits of introducing new technology. It will eventually be trialled in 2013 in the Faroe Islands third division before being dropped altogether. Misunderstanding the debate, the Americans will suggest bigger goals.

8. Stunning goals.

There will be a bonanza of goals so good you watch them over and over until your eyes water. Some of them will be scored by unknown players who quickly get signed by club teams with too much money. They will fail to impress and disappear within a year. But we'll all remember their names forever.

9. New Zealand will get their first World cup point

The All Whites scored three against Italy, scared the arrogant Aussies and beat 15th-ranked Serbia. Even in narrow defeats since they created chances. Playing to their strengths (lump it up to the big man) will get goals. Bring on Slovakia...

10. England's time.

The Three Lions will power past everyone in their path finally giving long-suffering fans belief that their time has come after 44 long years.

Then they'll go out on penalties.