Ivan Vicelich searches for the word. When he finds it, he talks about the "hunger" he has for football at the moment.
It's easy to see why. Just 18 months ago, the 33-year-old returned to New Zealand after eight years playing as a professional, mainly in the Dutch Eredivisie, the premier division, with Roda JC and then RKC Waalwijk.
The move home had that look of semi-retirement. His wife was pregnant with their first child and they wanted to be near family.
He still had things he wanted to achieve in football, like help Auckland City win everything - which they did - but they were much more modest goals by comparison.
He also took up a position as one of the club's community coaches and has been in talks with New Zealand Football about taking up a similar role with the national body.
Soon after returning to New Zealand, he announced his international retirement after more than 14 years as an All White. It was time, he says, "to pass on the reins".
Vicelich often talks in his staccato way of how football is a "funny" game and how quickly things can change. On Saturday, he will play the biggest game of his career when he lines up for New Zealand in their high-stakes World Cup playoff with Bahrain in Wellington.
Win, and the All Whites qualify for next year's World Cup in South Africa. Lose, and Vicelich might retire from international football a second time.
The opportunity to return to New Zealand colours came about thanks to a calf injury to Ryan Nelsen on the eve of June's Confederations Cup.
Rather than call up a young player to travel to South Africa, coach Ricki Herbert felt the need for someone with experience to replace his captain.
"It was a shock," Vicelich says of Herbert's enquiry. "It was two or three days before [the team was due to fly out to South Africa] and I didn't even know Ryan was injured. I was heading out to coach some kids when he called. The good thing about it was that we had just finished here [with the NZFC and O-League] so I was fit. I had a good chat with him and the family and decided it was a good opportunity. He asked me if I was ready and it seemed right."
Vicelich played all three games in South Africa, as well as the first leg of the playoff in Manama. He played centre back in those games and is likely to be used in a similar role on Saturday, when Herbert could once again opt for a 3-4-3.
Vicelich offers a level head at the back alongside skipper Nelsen and the whole-hearted Ben Sigmund, with the sort of experience that comes with 71 international games and more than 10 years as a professional.
Next weekend is just one item, albeit an extremely important one, on Vicelich's diary.
Next month, he will lead Auckland City at the Club World Cup in Abu Dhabi. Auckland will play Al Ahli FCD for a place in the main draw alongside the likes of Barcelona, Mexico's Atlante and Estudiantes de La Plata from Argentina.
"It's huge," Vicelich says of his next month. "It's turned into a full-on season. But the enjoyment is still there. That hasn't died in me. I think I will keep going while that spark stays alive."
Soccer: Vicelich raring to go for massive month
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