Mallard hits back of net with holiday idea

Trevor Mallard. Photo / Mark Mitchell

"That's not a point of order," complained National's Gerry Brownlee barely a minute into the afternoon sitting of Parliament yesterday.

Too late. The Hand of Trevor had already struck in the House's version of the football World Cup.

As the consummate politician, Labour's Trevor Mallard possesses a football striker-like ability to find gaps in the Government's defences even when there don't seem to be any.

His style is more Wayne Rooney than Cristiano Ronaldo - blunt, direct, unfussy and very abrasive. And just as dangerous, yesterday escaping flimsy marking to fire a curving, dipping shot in National's direction.

Rather than limit recognition of the All Whites' David versus Goliath endeavours to the previous day's parliamentary motion of congratulations, Mallard went one better by using a point of order to reveal he had drawn up a private member's bill to give the country a day off tomorrow if our boys whip the Paraguayans overnight.

Instead of immediately seeking leave for his bill to be rushed into law - a move which would have been rebuffed by the Government - Mallard shrewdly opted to delay for 24 hours to see if the idea gains legs with the public.

That might make it more difficult for National to be so dismissive in the way one unidentifiable Government MP was yesterday.

"The Labour Party is permanently on holiday," the MP interjected.

There is nothing an Opposition likes more than delving in the kind of murk currently surrounding the $4.8 million funding of the Pacific Economic Development Agency.

Labour leader Phil Goff made things extremely uncomfortable for Bill English as he probed for reasons why the Finance Minister had allocated the money in last month's Budget for a little-known organisation, rather than making the funding contestable.

English launched into an unconvincing explanation, arguing that the Budget appropriation did not amount to an allocation.

Goff demolished that defence by asking how that squared with the Budget directly linking the sum to the Pacific Economic Development Agency.

English tried to deflect the questioning by saying he would have thought Labour would welcome new money to help young Pacific Island people gain skills.

This provoked a scathing response from Goff.

He wondered when English would "get it into his head" that the Opposition was not concerned about the fact that the Finance Minister had belatedly put some money into supporting the Pacific Island community. It was worried about the lack of transparency and the "shonky way" in which he had done it.

This was withering stuff - but not quite as withering as the verbal acid thrown at Mallard later in question-time by Attorney-General Chris Finlayson.

In the latter's absence the day before, Mallard had argued Finlayson should be stood down for repeatedly failing to declare his directorship of a company in the MPs' Register of Pecuniary Interests.

Yesterday Finlayson was joking about how the Attorney-General and the Minister for Treaty Negotiations - he holds both portfolios - exchanged pleasantries all the time.

"When he is not too busy directing companies," Mallard interjected.

"Another day, another psychotic outburst from Mr Mallard," came the rattlesnake-like reply.

The resulting mirth exhibited by Government MPs was telling. Practicalities aside, they might have some sympathy for the idea of a special public holiday to mark what would arguably be the greatest sporting achievement by a New Zealand team. But not if Mallard's name is writ large across it.