There can be few disputes in sport as frustrating as club vs country and few who have made such a pig's ear of it as the Fallon family.
Club vs country happens all the time in the UK and they often solve the problem when the player involved suddenly develops an injury. Sorry, that should be "injury", if you get my drift.
National coaches often have to grit their teeth and put up with this, as the clubs pay professional players week in, week out and therefore feel (with some justification) they have first dibs on them.
However, the rules are that if a player is fit and is selected for a match that falls in a Fifa window, country comes first.
Ricki Herbert has been insisting Rory Fallon play for the All Whites when they play a friendly against Mexico in Los Angeles next month.
Fallon scored that tumultuous goal against Bahrain to take New Zealand to the World Cup finals in South Africa but, almost ever since, has been locked in a dispute based on his desire to play for his club, Plymouth Argyle, who are threatened with relegation.
To the uninitiated, the dilemma might seem non-existent. The World Cup - big and important; of global dimensions. Plymouth Argyle - pardon?
World Cups come only every four years or, in New Zealand's case, once every 28 years.
Rory Fallon didn't exactly help himself by saying he was torn between playing for the All Whites and helping Plymouth avoid the drop.
A predictable storm broke, with many accusing Fallon of everything from selfishness to causing the breakdown of civilisation as we know it.
This disappointed Fallon, apparently: "For people to say I'm not 100 per cent All Whites is disappointing - of course I am. How can they say that after watching the games against Bahrain?
"It's not down to me - it's between New Zealand Football and Plymouth Argyle. I will go where I'm told.
"I see both points and I'm a professional who gets on with my job. If New Zealand desperately wants me in Los Angeles, I'll be there. But there will be two or three international games during the pre-World Cup camp in Europe so Mexico is not the last game - I don't see what the big deal is."
Don't you, Rory? Don't you really? Aw.
He made things worse by saying this kind of thing twice; annoying people all over again. So here's some free advice: shut up, Rory, just don't say any more.
However, there is no doubt Fallon has a point. Plymouth are close to the drop and it will cost them a great deal of money and cloud their future if they take the tumble.
But, from a public relations point of view, you can't score the winning goal, take your country to the World Cup and celebrate as if you've just saved the future of mankind - and then turn around and intimate that you don't really give a big hairy rat's heinie.
Then there's Dad. Kevin Fallon is one of the most recognisable names, faces and voices in New Zealand football. In fact, as they say in Cockney rhyming slang, he's got a bit of a north on him.
Kevin Fallon called on New Zealand Football to ease off Rory: "You're not achieving much by press ganging somebody into playing for New Zealand," said Father.
"If he prefers to stay at home and fight the relegation battle, I think you should give a professional footballer that call. It's got nothing to do with club versus country, it's just professional responsibility."
Eh? Press ganging? I didn't see anyone press ganging Rory into playing for New Zealand and scoring against Bahrain and being a hero.
Prefers to stay at home? I'm sorry ... where's home? Plymouth, you mean? That's odd, I could have sworn he was playing for New Zealand. Must have meant New Plymouth. Yes, that'll be it ...
Responsibility? What about the responsibility of working with your national team-mates to polish combinations and skills so that New Zealand might give a good account of themselves at the World Cup?
When the All Whites won their way to South Africa, courtesy of Rory's bonce, it briefly ignited the nonsensical debate of whether football would ever topple rugby as the nation's favourite sport.
No, it won't - but football in this country needs a good showing at the World Cup, not a bunch of players who think they have done their bit just getting there and who get their asses handed to them as a result.
If the All Whites do not have a brave showing in South Africa, football will return to a comparative backwater and the impetus of that wonderful night at the Cake Tin will be lost.
But it'll be all right - Plymouth Argyle might have stayed up.
It's not a "friendly" match against Mexico. It's preparation for the World Cup and possibly New Zealand football's greatest moments.
Sometimes it's not what you say but how you say it. Fallon senior - the man involved in an unseemly fracas in a schools match he was involved in as a coach in 2008 and who was suspended last year after gobbing off at a school referee - has long prided himself as a straight-talking man.
But his efforts in support of his son sound self-serving. They remind you of the great Brian Clough who was similarly not short of ego and who once said: "I wouldn't say I'm the best [coach] in the business but I'm in the top one."
Still and all, Rory isn't helping himself, even though he has to be admired for telling the truth and not feigning an injury. It's probably best now if he found a muscle to pull and quietly slipped out of this mess and on to the physio's table.
Maybe he's not getting the best advice, either. Last week, as this newspaper attempted to talk to Fallon about this whole business, we had to go through his agent.
Rory wasn't talking, he said. As we negotiated with the agent, the New Zealand Herald spoke to Fallon and carried his latest remarks on the subject.
The agent, meanwhile, asked the Herald on Sunday whether we would care to pay £500 for the story?
Good grief. Pffffltblert. That, in case you didn't recognise it, was the sound of a long, wet raspberry - to the Fallons and his agent.
<i>Paul Lewis:</i> Mexico game is a big deal
The scoring hero against Bahrain, Rory Fallon wants to skip New Zealand's next game. Photo / Getty Images
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