You know things are rough when the Aussies, with all their yellow afros, flag-draping and oi-oi-ois, are noticeably missing in action from the statistics of fans in trouble with the law at the World Cup.
Worse, they even start thinking it's not such a bad thing to have a flag that looks so much like New Zealand's, even when the team earlier predicted to be the biggest duds of the competition are threatening to overshadow them.
"No amount of juvenile joking about [Kiwi] accents, their fondness for mooching around Bondi while on the dole or their affection for farm animals can change that," David Penberthy wrote in the Australian.
"For those of us who are in South Africa the only good that can come of all this is that most people think the Australian flag is the New Zealand flag and vice versa, so we can at least pretend that we're supporting a team that's kicked one goal."
But aside from the possibility of facing transtasman humiliation, and whacking us for not being able to take a joke - apparently Kiwis were outraged rather than amused by the Sydney Morning Herald's report of the "Australasian" draw with Slovakia - Australia's real fury has turned on itself.
This is not a people tolerant of sporting defeat.
For a nation bent on winning, where children can almost recite from memory the number of Olympic medals harvested and where victory is regarded by its national representatives as a patriotic duty, the Socceroos' defeat by Germany was all but treachery.
How else could it be, with a farewell ceremony broadcast live before their departure on a specially-painted jet, and commentators such as Nine Network's Ken Sutcliffe suggesting that somehow the Socceroos' "Anzac spirit" could win the day.
The depth of anger and mourning has overshadowed Sunday's 2am game against Ghana and, amid complaints from players that this is when support rather than recriminations is needed, there is almost a sense of resignation in most of the commentary.
"We're Ghana smash you out of the cup" was the two-page headline in yesterday's Sydney Daily Telegraph, spreading across coverage that contrasted "whatever chance the Socceroos have of progressing to the second round" with the African team's ebullient taunting of a "weak" Australian team.
"Sometimes Australians invest too much in the expectation of sporting glory, which brings inevitable disappointments, and occasional humiliations," commentator Rick Feneley wrote in Fairfax newspapers.
No kidding?
Australia has lacerated the Socceroos for their loss, attacking their "ageing" players and with AAP writer Doug Conway suggesting that after their mesmerising lesson from Germany "they may do well to slink home without further embarrassment".
Former Socceroos goalkeeper Mark Bosnich said the team had been too negative before it took the field: "This game was lost before a ball was kicked."
Dutch coach Pim Verbeek has been attacked for failing to understand the culture of Australia and the way the nation plays sport, for taking the loss to Germany "too well", and, Paul Kent wrote in Melbourne's Herald Sun, for being more concerned about his "comb-over carelessly flopping over his forehead".
Commentators have also been devastated by the loss of striker and number one goalscorer Tim Cahill - whose suspension was being appealed last night - and by reports of debilitating splits within the team.
Some are trying to put the loss to a global giant into perspective, and to talk up Australia's chances against Ghana, but the mood remains dour.
And, according to the Herald Sun, that means manning up to the possibility of further defeat.
"If Australia cannot win on the pitch, it must show a brave face on the world stage," the newspaper said in an editorial.
"We must not act like a nation of losers trying to find someone to blame, despite there being enough ageing candidates."
<i>Greg Ansley</i>: Aussies struggle to make sense of World Cup woe
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