NZME's award winning* football blog Goalmouth Scramble is back. Our rotating stable of football writers will offer daily hot takes on all the action from the World Cup in Russia. Today, Niall Anderson apologises for what you're about to read.
We're currently in the midst of a World Cup drought.There were no games this morning and - shock horror - there's no games tomorrow morning either.
What on earth can World Cup junkies do to get their fix? Here are 10 poorly thought-out suggestions to pass the time before the tournament resumes on Saturday morning.
Sleep
This World Cup has not been hospitable for football maniacs who work regular 9-5 jobs. If you're committed to watching every knockout game at this World Cup, it means waking up at 2.00am for the opening game, maybe getting the briefest of naps in before the 6.00am game, and then strolling off for work, having already been awake for seven hours.
It's not the most practical of arrangements, so tomorrow, make up for it by sleeping for 24 straight hours. I'm sure the bosses will understand, but if they don't, you could always...
Work productively at last
Been bleary eyed at work? Missed a meeting because Janet from Accounts was busy bleating on and on about how Sweden are going to win her the office sweepstake? Well, tell Janet to sod off and knuckle down, those Herald articles aren't going to read themselves...
Realise that the result of the tournament will have no impact on anything and it probably has a disproportionate influence on your life right now
Woah woah woah, things got dark there for a minute. Back to lighter matters....
Watch competitive diving
[Insert tired and incredibly lame joke about Neymar here]
Watch the greatest league of all, the NBL
Yes, everyone's favourite sporting league in still on! We're got some good games on tonight and tomorrow – the Sharks against the Rangers and th- ʰᵉʸ ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᴺᴮᴸ ᶦˢ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ˢᶜʳᵒˡˡ ᵈᵒʷⁿ!
Create bad arguments about the All Whites
"Look – Uruguay and Croatia both have smaller populations than New Zealand – we could be a footballing powerhouse!"
Create even worse columns about the World Cup
(Sorry.)
*Goalmouth Scramble's "award" was more of an inter-company acknowledgement in an email from 2012.
