How Fernando Torres must have chuckled to himself over the past couple of weeks, listening to all the stern analyses in Spain about how great goalscorers cope with barren spells, overcome famines and droughts, and hearing experts opine on the doubts, real or imagined, that afflict strikers when they enter their 30s.
It was not Torres, 31, who scored his first goal of the season for Atletico Madrid against Barcelona, who had been the subject of all this, but Cristiano Ronaldo, and his mysterious case of goallessness.
Ahead of the weekend, Ronaldo had registered a blank through four club and international matches. He had scored just once in nine including pre-season friendlies. It could look stark if you put it a certain way: He hit 48 Liga goals in 35 games in 2014-15; the 30-year-old had none in 2015-16.
Saturday's Marca, Spain's biggest-selling daily, bluntly referred to "Cristiano's crisis". No goals in 180 Liga minutes a crisis? Somewhere in that newspaper's archive must be the far more powerful word they used to describe Torres's no league goals in 180 days, the run endured by the former £50 million centre-forward last season, stretched across his wretched spell at AC Milan, where Chelsea offloaded him, and his first few weeks at Atletico, the club he rejoined in January.