Fooball: Premier silly season that passes us by

Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea's move to Real Madrid seemed a foregone conclusion. Photo / AP

Race against clock adds twists, turns, gags to transfer-window comedy.

September 1 is a treasured day on the British sporting calendar. For fans of football, in particular, it's an annual tradition packed with more anticipation and excitement than Easter and Christmas combined.

Every year, the first day in September brings to a close the two-month period of chaos, contract negotiations and recriminations known as the transfer window, one of only two periods in which players can switch clubs.

September 1 is Deadline Day, infusing the slow, early weeks of a new season with equal parts drama and comedy.

It's a concept well-known to sports fans in the United States - where free agency periods hog off-season headlines and trade deadlines create myriad mid-season storylines - and it's something seriously lacking in New Zealand's codes.

Sure, player movement happens here occasionally, but that's almost besides the point. It's everything that happens before a player moves - the twists, the turns, the gags - that adds an extra layer of intrigue to the action, especially when that intrigue is enhanced by a race against the clock.

Put simply: transfer windows and trade deadlines manufacture entertainment where none previously existed. What were once quiet spells in a sporting season are now teeming with speculation, supposition and, most importantly, funny internet memes.

This week's Deadline Day was somewhat bereft of big moves but that hardly halted the hilarity of the true silly season. In fact, it was a pair of transfers that failed to transpire that provided plenty of amusement for all concerned - excluding the parties involved.

The move of Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea to Spanish heavyweights Real Madrid seemed a foregone conclusion for much of the off-season. De Gea is Spanish, his girlfriend is Spanish, and both were keen to live in a city that sees the sun more than once or twice a month.

Real, in a show of arrogance, waited until Deadline Day to place an official bid for de Gea, which cut things fine but still left plenty of time for United to agree a fee and begin finalising the transfer.

Only, as the 12am cut-off approached in Spain, something went wrong. Reports began to emerge that the documents needed to complete the transfer arrived minutes past the deadline.

Real blamed United; the English side hit back and said they had proof to absolve themselves. The internet laughed and de Gea stayed put.

Similar high jinks happened elsewhere in the Premier League, with young striker Saido Berahino being forced to remain at West Brom, much to his chagrin.

Berahino had been agitating for a move away from the struggling side for some months, appearing to find in Tottenham a willing suitor. But West Brom chairman Jeremy Peace kept batting away bids, seemingly playing the waiting game to glean every pound he could.

Then, on Deadline Day, Berahino submitted a written transfer request and Spurs submitted their most attractive offer yet. But West Brom refused to budge, leaving Berahino to air his grievances on Twitter: "Sad how I can't say exactly how the club has treated me but I can officially say I will never play [for] Jeremy Peace."

While far from comical for the likes of de Gea and Berahino, sagas like theirs transform a regular Tuesday into a can't-miss event. And it happens twice a season, every season.

So the next time an unappealing slate of ITM Cup games is the only sport to look forward to, picture a world in which players switched provinces with regularity, then imagine the carnage that could take place in the 24 hours preceding an arbitrary deadline.

We're truly missing out.