Dillon Hunt. Photo / Getty Images.
Former All Blacks flanker Dillon Hunt has a compelling message to share – do not rush back from concussion until symptoms have fully cleared.
"You've got to make sure you're 100 per cent because the consequences can be bloody bad if you don't get it right," Hunt says in a candid interview he hopes will help athletes fully grasp the need to put their health first.
Hunt learnt this lesson the hard way after falling into an exhaustive, frightening state following his last concussion that has ultimately forced the 26-year-old openside into premature rugby retirement.
After a year dealing with debilitating symptoms, Hunt eventually realised he had no other choice.
"I've decided to retire because of these concussions," Hunt says. "I have to give it away. It's just not worth it for me anymore.
"One particular crash I had with my symptoms I thought I can't be risking this or going back to something that could make all the symptoms worse again. I was just too vulnerable.
"At its worst it's headaches, just being in a complete fog where you can't think. You can't handle any sort of noise or light. The fog doesn't really leave.
"The specialists were all pretty supportive so that decision had to be made, really."
During his five-year professional career that included four seasons with the Highlanders, one match for the All Blacks against the French XV in 2017 and his test debut one year later in Japan, Hunt says he suffered two concussions per-season.
Too often the No 7 renowned for his defensive resilience and work-rate returned before he had fully recovered.
"I'd be looking at about 10 concussions but there's also thousands of other reasonable knocks. I was always weary of it. I had it in the back of my mind that it's not good to be getting concussion after concussion but I always recovered pretty quickly prior to last year so I carried on until I wasn't able to carry on."
Last year was the turning point. In the second round of the NPC season Hunt sustained a head knock while captaining North Harbour against Waikato. He took a couple of weeks off but after Harbour lost three games in a row, he returned out of a sense of duty before symptoms cleared.
Another blow to the head against Bay of Plenty on November 15 would prove his final match, robbing him of the chance to play for the Blues and sparking months of anguish.
"I came back when I wasn't quite right off my own back and that was not good. I played on for the rest of the season and didn't feel right. Then I had a little knock after the season – just banging my head on a table – and I spun out.
"I knew I wasn't right after the Waikato one I was getting things like blood tests done to see if it was iron levels because I wanted to pin it on something else, but it was obvious in way. After Bay of Plenty and the table knock it became quite clear what was going on."
As anyone who has confronted serious concussion can attest there is no linear experience; no clear plan or comforting prognosis. Those affected have good days only for symptoms to return with no explanation, evoking a crippling cycle and emotional toll.
"It was really scary," Hunt says. "It's not something you're given a timeframe where they say in six weeks your ankle is going to be sweet. I was taking it month by month and every month that went past it became more real and scary. At some points I thought this could be me forever."
Putting the issue of contact sport concussions in stark perspective is where Hunt found an outlet for support. While his partner and family offered constant console, they could not truly understand his struggles.
"One of my good mates had a concussion around the same time and we were tracking the same way so it was quite good to compare notes on where we were at. He was in a car crash. It's two different scenarios but the end result is pretty similar."
Having signed a two-year deal with the Blues, Hunt attempted to progress a graduated return to exercise as he pursued a debut with his home Super Rugby franchise, but he never got close to taking the field this season.
Blues head coach Leon MacDonald, scrum coach Ben Afeaki, the former All Blacks prop who retired at 27-years-old due to concussion, and trainer Phil Heatley offered support and insisted Hunt not rush any return. All three have personal concussion experience.
A combination of undertaking work around the house and attending the Super Rugby transtasman final won by the Blues in June was the final straw, as constant headaches and fogginess sharply returned.
"It was pretty tough to get your head around having no expectations. The worst crash I had was eight months after it happened. That was the point where I decided I can't do this anymore; I can't be putting myself back in a position where I could be feeling like this for a lot longer."
Hunt chooses not to blame anyone else for failing to uphold a duty of care, believing it was his decision to return to the field.
"I'm not pinning it on the doctors because they didn't rush me it's more me wanting to get back.
"If I could tell myself a couple of years ago 'just make sure you're right before you go back out there'. Only you will know. There's no test that can tell you that, but you know.
"There were definitely times I knew I wasn't right when I did go and play and that's what got me to where I am. If you fully come right, and you give it the time, you're going to be a lot better off.
"I got into the cycle of giving it a couple of weeks and then getting back into it. Looking back, sometimes you need longer. Sometimes that might be the whole season."
In recent months Hunt has emerged from the worst of his plight to the point he is now using his degree to work four days a week as a surveyor. He is relishing the routine compared to the depressive state of sitting around worrying about what might next trigger his symptoms.
"A year later and it's a lot better now but it's been a bit of a journey. You feel like a shell of a person so it's hugely relieving to feel a sense of normality again and be able to do things without worrying too much about is this going to make me crash for a couple of days or having to think about everything you're doing from a concussion perspective. I can get on with things now and live a pretty normal life. It wasn't sure it was going to turn out like that.
"I wouldn't say I'm symptom free but I'm a lot better. I still get the odd headache or fogginess if I'm doing too much so that's a good sign to slow down."
In the wake of Carl Hayman's harrowing early-onset dementia diagnosis, Hunt hopes his later years don't bear the consequences of too many head knocks.
"I'd like to think I'll be 100 per cent. Obviously, I can't know. I generally back the science but at this stage there's not a lot so it's hard to say. I'm pretty positive about holding down a good job and getting on with life."
Despite the dark months Hunt holds no ill-will towards the game. He misses the camaraderie of being around team-mates everyday but remains proud to have represented the All Blacks and topple the British and Irish Lions with the Highlanders.
"There's a lot of things to look forward to outside of rugby but I'm pretty stoked with what I managed to achieve in that time. There's a lot of things I would've like to have done – playing for the Blues, winning a Premiership with Harbour. But there's plenty to look back on and be proud of.
"It's pretty unique work and a lot of cool memories so I've still got those to hold on to."
* An earlier version of this story included the main image of Will Jordan not Dillon Hunt. The Herald apologise to Will Jordan and his family for any confusion this may have caused.
