Chris Rattue: Barmies have theme ready

The following ditty has kindly been supplied by the Barmy Army, as an early warning of what to expect from them at matches. A very musical lot, the Barmies. Members supply lyrics which are sung or chanted, and feature in their magazine Harmonies.

This one goes quite nicely to My Old Man's a Dustman, especially with a bit of staccato work on the longer sentences.

For those overly sensitive about NZ's sporting prowess, avert the eyes because it contains inflammatory passages. One, two, three, four ...

The Lions are on tour on our way to rugby heaven,
The All Blacks ain't won the World Cup since 1987,
They proudly do the haka,
Their favourite word is mate,
God may defend New Zealand,
But our Queen's your Head of State

(All together now)

The Kiwis love their rugby,
Quite lucky for these folk,
Because, at all other sports,
You are a total joke.
You failed in the Tri Nations,
In the World Cup went to sleep,
The All Blacks all should stay at home,
And stick to shagging* sheep.

(*Can be replaced by the word farming, although this seems unlikely.)

Not wanting to be intimidated by the invaders, Rattue sent back the following as an example of the severe return fire the Lions supporters will receive. It's simply entitled Black. One, two, three, four

Blaaaaack, blaaaaaack, blaaaaaaack,
Blaaaaack, blaaaaaack, blaaaaaaack,
Black, Black,
Black, Black,
Blaaaaaack, Blaaaaack, Blaaaaaack.

Note: It doesn't go with any tune, so just grunt it out.

PS: No further contributions accepted.