It's not cricket: A first XI of changes

Trent Boult. Photo / SNPA

The new calendar year leads us into yet another summer of cricket. Andrew Alderson draws up his First XI of things he'd like to see - and not see - in the game.

1. Channel Nine montages

Place the sycophantic Australian commentary bias to one side. The crew in the mobile editing suites deserve credit for their montage compilations, especially those featuring super-slow-mo and spider-cam footage, which give cricket a new lease on televisual life. In addition, uncovering regular archive footage, like Tony Greig losing his keys in the pitch, is highly commended. Practical examples of the heat in Perth during the third Ashes test - they fried an egg on a manhole cover in six minutes - also deserve a prize for innovative coverage.

2. One challenge under the Decision Review

It's time to remove "taking a punt" as an option through the back-up challenge. If a batsman/team wants to use the DRS, more needs to ride on it. The system was designed to remove 'the howler' - unseen inside edges, clipped thigh pads, balls pitching outside leg stump - not to be a calculated gamble on the basis a ball might be missing the stumps by millimetres. There also appears to be the odd Hail Mary for non-existent no-balls.

3. The follow on

Splendid to see Brendon McCullum enforcing this during the first two West Indies tests. Sure, there's the practical element of returning to bat for a bit to rest your bowlers but, darn it, why not send the opposition back in and show them who's boss. Nothing like an innings victory. The odds of not losing are also in your favour, given only three times in 2110 tests has a side following-on come back to win.

4. Clone Trent Boult's fitness

Touted as the fittest guy in the team, any aspiring New Zealand cricketers (and the incumbents) should use Boult as a benchmark. After spending 42 minutes batting for 38 in the second test, he took 10 wickets for 80 runs in 27.5 overs and rose like a salmon at backward point to snare Denesh Ramdin off Corey Anderson.

5. Zing wickets

Have we become so inattentive to the spectacle that we need glowing LED lights to tell us when the wickets have been broken? New Zealand Cricket believes so, informing us the stumps would "provide another element of excitement" to the night HRV Cup matches. Well played to the Zing marketing executives who convinced NZC these were a must-have. Is T20 becoming more gimmicky by the season?

6. Black Caps

New Zealand Cricket insist on referring to the team as BLACKCAPS, in caps, just in case you don't 'get it'. Perhaps they could become the first national sporting organisation to reverse their decision DRS-style and give up on trying to sustain a nickname which derives from the All Blacks. How about 'the New Zealand cricket team'? Perhaps it doesn't hold the same marketing savvy but at least it's not an item of headwear which used to be worn by English judges in passing death sentences.

7. Ish Sodhi's googly

It helped bowl Shane Shillingford and Denesh Ramdin in the first test against the West Indies. Sodhi's top spinner also made a welcome appearance to remove Kirk Edwards and Shannon Gabriel lbw. Long may this legspinning revival continue. Congratulations to Northern Districts' chief executive Peter Roach, a former Victorian team-mate of Shane Warne's, for arranging a meeting between the greatest legspinner and Sodhi during the Boxing Day test in Melbourne. What an opportunity.

8. The Mitchell Johnson stare and invective

The Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde of test cricket. Yes, Mitchell, you appear a pleasant interviewee on camera and you've taken 23 wickets at 15.47 to be a likely man-of-the-series after three Ashes tests but you've also got to live with the archival footage of mindless verbal volleys after almost every ball. Use the old Marmite slogan as a mental trigger: too much spoils the flavour. Perhaps shave the Dennis Lillee wannabe 'tache while you're at it. Just get back to your mark and let your bowling do the talking - which it has.

9. Cameras and dressing rooms

Never the twain shall meet. Case in point: Australia's Ashes win. A fine effort on the part of Channel Nine to bring the team closer to their adoring public but some things are better left private. Having 11 grown men and their entourage cuddling up on the dressing room floor dousing Mark 'Tubby' Taylor with beer as he flung a microphone around the room was awkward. And for what? A handful of gibberish sound bites.

10. Test match reverse sweeps

There can be few arguments justifying the use of the premeditated reverse sweep at any stage in a test. New Zealand fans must cringe every time a white-clad Brendon McCullum attempts this. The risk seems so high when he already has a full repertoire of orthodox strokes to choose from. Sure, in limited overs there might be a more compelling argument to break up fields and a bowler's rhythm over a shorter time frame; in tests it seems counter-productive.

11. KFC for a year

Could a year's supply of KFC for winning the Channel Nine classic catches competition actually discourage people from entering? Okay, the separate A$2000 would come in handy but the thought of having to pick up a couple of buckets every week might quickly cease seeming "finger lickin' good" (or "so good" now they've re-branded with meals cooked on a griddle instead of in a fryer). Has no Australian cricket fan seen Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me?